lessons.

I've been learning a lot over the last couple of weeks. And if anything getting more and more of a perspective on how deeply the last 10 months in Panama has both affected me and changed me. I've been visiting supporters over the last weeks and hearing over and over, "you've changed," even though no one's really been able to nail down what exactly it is that's different. Even though I feel like the same person I know that there's something different.

I think more than anything this year I've learned both the beauty and the pain in the necessity of communication. I've never liked to talk about feelings, ever since I've been little. I'd rather bury my own emotions and deal with them on my own than bringing other people in. But this year I was really forced to examine this and change this. Communication is so very vital to any relationship and I know that as a team we learned this over and over again. I don't like confrontation and again this year I had to learn that it was okay. I don't really like rocking the boat so to speak but I learned that sometimes its necessary.

Another blessing from this year was simply being a part of what God's done and is continuing to do in Panama. I look back at all the crazy things that happened but through all the mass events I can see how clearly God was orchestrating every single tiny event. How He's deeply changing so many lives around me. So even as I come back and am still trying to figure out whats different in me, I know that He's changed those around me and it was a humbling blessing to get to be a little part of that.