Why are we uncomfortable in the face of someone who needs something that we can give? A young man interrupted my religious studies class last week first wondering where the bathroom was and next asking for a bus ticket or change to get home (my class is downtown in a cultural center). No one knew what to do, my prof laughed out loud and laughter rippled through the room until people started reaching for wallets and change and one girl finally pulled out a bus ticket. What is it that gets people to that state? Deep down there is a discomfort when faced with the pain of suffering and being uncomfortable in the face of someone who doesn’t have what we sit there having. I’m sitting in this course, paying close to five hundred dollars to hear my prof lecture on perspectives of suffering in religion, we’re faced with someone in need and no one knows what to do.

I had a flashback to an afternoon in Panama where our team was on the adventure cycle and eating lunch in a grocery store cafeteria. An old man walked slowly up and down the aisles in the café, not asking for anything and not looking for anything, just slowly walking. But, he absolutely broke my heart. The clothing, the dirtiness, just the absolute emptiness in his eyes and his steps. He sat down in a little booth a couple of tables away, and again I had no idea what to do. I was too emotionally choked up to make a move and still conversation flowed all around me. I asked my friend Jon to go and buy him some lunch which he did and sat down and talked to him for a minute or two. I have no idea what was said even still but the moment continues to stick with me even now.

Last night I was reading in Luke when Jesus performs a miracle and raises the widow’s dead son from the dead. Verse 13 states that “when the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her…” This is one of my favorite passages. Jesus’ heart moved with compassion for the pain and suffering that this woman was going through. He loves us so much and I think it pains him when we suffer, whatever exactly that means. But his heart still moves in response to our pain and that gives me the strength and encouragement. I’m a tenderhearted person and if you spend a lot of time with me you’ll find that I am really prone to tears when something touches my heart. I get what this verse is saying, it totally hits home for me. Our hearts need to move when someone is in pain, and sometimes we need to take a step of faith and act with compassion towards those around us. Matthew 9:36 says when Jesus saw the crowds he had compassion on them. It’s when our hearts aren’t moved by those around us that I think we have a problem. I think my favorite bible character is King David and largely because he was a man after Gods heart. I want to be a woman after the heart of the Father and I pray that continually he remolds and reshapes my heart, so that I’m passionate what God is passionate about and that the things that break his heart would also break mine too. I know that this is kind of a heavy thought, it’s just been on my heart for a while, let me know what you think.

August 13, 2007- leave to Toronto for STINT training
August 17, 2007- leave for Panama

Wow.

Tagged... 5 things you'll know now...

So Sarah (one of my fellow STINT team members) has "tagged" me... which means I need to come up with 5 things that no one knows about me and post them, so... let me see, (Sarah I'll try and make these good seeing as we'll be roomies for a year):

1. I'm horrified of mice/rats- I can handle bugs, snakes etc. but the little mice absolutely give me the creeps. I think it dates back to the "Great Mouse Detective" movie by Walt Disney.... anyone seen that cartoon and then at the end the villain, "Rattigan" or whatever his name was goes all crazy on the London Clock Tower... anyone.... anyone.... but my zoology prof thought it was hilarious in the lab when we had to work with rats, no fun at all.

2. When I was little and my brother and I were playing, I would simply sit on him until I got what I wanted... man I wasn't a nice older sister... but he can kick my butt now without trying, although he never really needs to. :)

3. I'm not a very confrontational person. I tend to run away from situations in which there could be conflict and would rather let myself get stomped all over than offend someone else. But, I'm aware of this which means I'm realizing that conflict can actually have good results and really build relationships and that they're not all bad.

4. I've always wanted to live in England. Even before I had actually been there I simply wanted to go to England. I loved it when I was there 2 years ago and somewhere down the road I'd like to go back, whether to work on a campus there with C4C or go back for my masters... but we'll see what happens...

5. I hated being called "lins" for the longest time. I'm not sure why but it would annoy me when people didn't call me lindsey. But, I'm completely over it and sign everything with my nickname. In high school all my close friends called me LD.... so whatever works is cool with me.

I think thats all. It took me a while to come up with those...

There's sure a lot going on, but in a lot of ways thats to be expected during the last months of school. Friday at our weekly meeting for Campus for Christ a guy named Eric Rose talked about a couple of things that have really been on my heart since then. Just wanted to post them to get them off my chest;

Evangelism is not just a passion for God but it's an urgent passion. It's not just something we can do whenever but there is a time frame that we're in and every day that we have is crucial to making a difference. Evangelism was and is the priority for Jesus when he was on the earth and continues to be on Gods heart today. This is what really blew me away, and definately caused me some thought, if evangelism is God's priority why should mine be any different? That really threw down the challenge to me, let me know what you guys think... until then, much love, be blessed!

(P.S. And Sarah I'm working on my 5 things you guys don't know about me... it's pretty hard actually... but coming soon I hope... )