I just returned from our church youth retreat... absolutely amazing! My small group of girls blew my mind this weekend and more than that God healed my heart. There's so much more that could be said but at this point I'm still working through what happened last night... it definately goes down as one of the most intense moments of ministry that I've ever had and one of the most precious moments with God. So until then I leave you with some lyrics from this weekend and a verse that came alive this morning;


You're my every moment
You calm my raging sees
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in you, I trust in you

I believe you're my healer
I believe you are all I need
I believe you're my portion
I believe you're more than enough for me
Jesus you're all I need, Oh my healer, you're my healer

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold the world in your hands

Psalm 62:5-8, 11-12
5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God [a] ;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah
~
11 One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,
12 and that you, O Lord, are loving.

Well well well... Nicaragua was a trip and a half and I think my brain is still blown... partly from all the Spanish and partly from all the sheer information. It was amazing to be sitting in a room with the campus directors and other staff and national directors of Vida Estudiantil in the CMC region (Central America, Mexico and the Carribean). I learned so much about what it means to have a movement and just gained so much understanding of this region and its past and future! Because I'm leaving again tomorrow on a youth retreat with my church the update will be soon to come, more than that I'm still trying to process everything that just happened.

Life is absolutely nuts and most days I just have fun trying to keep up with it. The last 10 days has been insane.. but what's new for Panama?? The long and short of it is that God is doing crazy crazy things on all fronts.

Steve and I have started to lead small groups at "Crossfire" which is the youth ministry at the church that Sarah, Steve and I are attending. Its been such a blessing to get to be a part of an amazing group of leaders and also get connected into our own small groups of students. My group is a group of 5 grade 10 girls. My first night with them was last night and it's definately going to be interesting. Their small group just seperated into two so they'll definately be a breaking in period with them but we're headed on a retreat in 8 days so I am super excited to have some solid time with then and serve them as their friend. Please pray for them.

On the campus front... I don't really know what to say to put into words the feelings and emotions there. This week has been a week of follow-up and meeting with contacts Jon and I gathered from our classroom talks the last couple of weeks. Yesterday I was supposed to meet with 6 girls at noon but only one of them showed up. But as my friend Laura and I shared the gospel with her you could totally see her processing and thinking her own way through the whole thing. At the end when I asked her if she wanted to pray to recieve Christ she said that she wouldn't be here meeting with us if she wasn't looking for God. It was amazing... thats how the whole week has been! Today Jon and I were so encouraged because 4 guys (!!!) from science showed up at the weekly meeting. I've been connecting really well with the girls from the faculty but there's been a lesser number of guys in the classes and therefore for Jon to connect with. For me it was another sign and encouragement that God has huge huge plans for our faculties. I know that everyone on the team has their own special stories and special moments that God is teaching them and showing them things. Time and time again I am humbled by Gods plans and how even though He could do things without me... He chooses to use me anyways! Until next time.. much love!

Just a couple more... because I realized that they're good.. and I have some computer time.... yippee! (Thanks Jess!!!)So this is the crazy fountain that we found Friday night at Nikko's, now the weird thing is it was full of bubbles... in espanol... burbuja... funnest spanish word ever (pronouce the "j" like an "h"). Alrighty so this is a close up of the articles on the protest Friday at the university... enough said.
This is another shot from church.. I don't know why I have a goofy face on but oh well... it was a great Sunday morning. So this is bascially to bring a smile to your face... love you guys!

Well its definately been a week. We had an awesome full week on campus and were able to present some "talks" including the gospel to 4 lab classes of mostly first years. Today Jon and I did another classroom talk. As we were getting started I really wasn't feeling comfortable with what I had said in the other lectures. So I prayed rapidly and wung (winged??) the whole thing. It went awesome and I'm constantly amazed what God does when we ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit and trust in his leading. Jon and I both thought afterwards that it was the best talk we had done so far. We've been able to connect with a lot of students in the faculty... most of them girls which has me really excited! Even today as I chatted with 3 girls at the end of the talk I was encouraged by my Spanish and their excitement to meet up and get a discipleship group started. Yesterday Jessica, Tricia, Jon and I went to the church in San Miguelito where Jon and I spent a week last summer on our adventure cycle. It was great to be there again and see the people from church and talk with them again. Jon preached the message and it was cool to realize how far we've all come in the last year. I never would have imagined being back and yet I completely felt at home being back with them. It was definately another one of those "crazy... I'm actually in Panama" moments.

Some pics for you guys from this weekend... courtesy of Tricia as my camera is still MIA. :) Late night drive turned into a late night at the Panama Canal... beautiful. Alright... so I don't know how much of this I should mention but... on Friday the university was shut down because of a protest. Jon and I were eating lunch when we saw students walking down the street carrying posters, flags and tires. Needless to say the tires were for blowing up and we all had to exit campus a different way as the police came in full on riot gear... needless to say this is apparently normal. This is Jess and I with the newspaper articles... for another take on this.. check out Jon's blog (the link is on the sidebar of this page), some smart insight there!!

The guys made us dinnner for team fun night and then we headed to the national theater (Teatro Nacional) for a concert that my church brought to town, it was a great night!
This is Jon and I at the church on Sunday in San Miguelito... I was helping Jon out and giving an example... (p.s. I love that they have 2 Tim 2:2 painted on their wall) This is the view from the top of one of the hills in San Miguelito.. beautiful.

So I was really tempted not to post this due to the shape of my face but it makes me (and the rest of my team) laugh so... this is what happens when we try and one-up each other on who can make the best pescado (fish) face.
Love you all... more to come! Stay tuned... it looks like Jon and I may be headed to Nicaragua in 2 weeks and a little bit for a conference.... fiesta!!! Jokes... please pray.. science outreach on Wednesday!!! Update to come!

Its been an absolutely nutty weekend. For those of you who know whats happening you'll know its been a huge rollar coaster of emotion to some huge depths, and yet God always takes us out of the valleys, although they defiantely hurt when we're there. September 20th I wrote in my journal, "How quickly things can change, how quickly joy can turn to sorrow or laughter into pain." And yet tonight it'll be a completley different story.

(Rundown for everybody that has no idea.... Sept 20 some of my teammates took my guitar and my backpack containing my laptop, camera, wallet etc. home in a cab... except for it didn't make it home as everything was forgotten in the trunk of the cab... and trying to find one cab driver in Panama City can only be done by God.)

Now everything hasn't made it back and I'm still praying it does... and yet God continually blows me away. But until then... lets take a walk through some scripture that pulled me through this weekend, grab some coffee or tea and take a minute to do this with me. I know that scripture speaks to us all at different times but I pray that even as you read and think about these that God will continue to reveal his character to you... just as He's been doing to me.

Psalm 37:3-7a

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."

Psalm 38:9

"All my longings lie open before you, O Lord: my sighing is not hidden from you."

*Psalm 42:11 (5-11 too)

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God."

*Psalm 51:12

"Restore to me they joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

*Isaiah 26:3

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you."

*James 1:2-3

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence...."

*1 Peter 1: 6-7

"In this you greatly rejoice, through now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

*John 14:14

"You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it."

& again...

*John 15:7

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you."

& again...

*John 15:16

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other."

*Romans 8:38-39

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus."

*Psalm 139:7-10

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens you are there: if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea (Panama???), even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

*Psalm 36, Psalm 40, Psalm 95, Psalm 100

(any of those guys....)

Thanks for taking a trip with me, I love you guys all so much!!! As always... more to come.

Well... we're not getting deported tomorrow!! Yeah! This morning our request for an extension was granted and we've been excepted for a 30 day extension to our tourist visas. We have Panamanian identification cards and everything. At the end of the 30 day extension (October 18th) we'll be passing in our applications for our missionary visas and we should be set up for the rest of the year! Thanks so much for all your prayers!

So an update on the crazy missionary/ tourist visa situation.... as uncomplicated as I can attempt to make this. We registered at the immigration office this morning and then applied for a 30 day extension to our current tourist visas. The only thing is that we won't find out until Tuesday morning whether the extension has been approved. Until then we wait and pray. Worse case scenario is we do a mad jaunt to Costa Rica on Wednesday and re-enter the country. Basically the idea is that a month from now we'll pass in the application for our missionary visas and then be completely finished with this bureaucratic mess. Please continue to pray that we'll have favor with the immigration office and that our extension will be approved. The officer we dealt with this morning had John 3:16 posted on his carrel which was a cool encouragement after the 5:30 am wake up call. Also... one of the girls on the team is still sorting out with Canada how to get a criminal record check done from overseas and its not looking good, so continue to keep that in your prayers.... lots of love!!!!

Just some random pics for you guys..... enjoy...

The weekly meeting we were at today. The place was hopping with students a half hour before we even got rolling.. it was awesome.

Jessica, Steve, Sarah and I at the 30th anniversary of the signing of the canal treaties and the land breaking for the canal expansion.

The long awaited view from the apartment... I love waking up to this every morning.

Bathroom graffiti in Panama... 10 points to whoever translates this first (Jon you don't count).

The view from the mountaintop.... where we were at a retreat with the staff and students the past weekend.

I hate being sick. I absolutely hate it. I feel irritable and frustrated when I have no right to be and I don’t have the energy to do the things I normally can do. I question things when I shouldn’t and all in all don’t function well both physically but also emotionally. When I’m at home I talk to my mom or grab a cup of tea and cuddle into my favorite sweater and sweats and sit with my dog or on my couch with my favorite music. I can have a bath or do whatever I need to do to take care of myself. So it’s hard when I’m not able to do those things anymore. I absolutely love it here and yet there’s times, like this evening that it’s hard to be somewhere that’s not quite home yet. I’m too hot to cuddle in a sweater and it’s too sweaty to drink tea and my family (my dog included) is over a thousand miles away. But it’s also times like this that I have nowhere to turn to but to my heavenly Father. He’s the only steady and constant thing in my life when all else is changing and moving and scary or frustrating at times.

Psalm 73:23-26

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

In John 7:60-71 Jesus is deserted by “many” of his disciples as his teaching is hard (vs.60). It’s not exactly the most encouraging bible story and yet it has one of my favorite verses in it. In verse 67 Jesus asks the Twelve whether they also want to leave him and Simon Peter answers, “Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” (vs.68-69) I love that. “Lord to whom shall we go?” Where else would I turn when I feel alone or ready to throw in the towel? To whom shall I go? “Whom (else) have I in heaven?”

This is a video of the Panama City skyline from a "hike" that the team took yesterday through the natural metropolitan park (pardon the quality... I'm still working on it!). It was a gorgeous day for some gorgeous scenery... I've been praying a lot lately about what God is speaking to me. In John chapter 4:43-54 Jesus heals a royal officials son. What hit me about this was two things... 1. the man took Jesus at his word that his son was healed and departed... man I want to have faith like that and 2. Jesus said something and it was so. So I've been thinking... what is God saying to me??

Learning a lesson....

In the last post I mentioned that we had found an apartment for the girls and that we would still be looking for one for the boys. Backtracking a little though... when we had first started looking for apartments we had looked at a gorgeous building in a safe area called El Dorado, but... it was too expensive for us and only had 2 rooms. On Saturday we were supposed to move into what was supposedly the "girls" apartment. Our realtor called that morning though and said that another apartment had opened up in the identical building we had first looked at BUT that the rent was cheaper (moved into our price range), had 3 rooms AND was completely furnished. Holding our breaths we went to take a look. I was speechless... and we all know that that doesn't happen a lot...

I learned an important lesson that day. As I stepped out onto the balcony to look around I saw jungle and rainforest in the distance on my left and on my right the skyline of downtown Panama city but through the gaps in the buildings was a site that blew me away... the ocean. Standing near the ocean or even gazing at it from a distance I feel so incredibly close to God. But what I learned is that God desires to bless us more than we deserve... or even think we deserve. I wouldn't have asked to see the ocean every morning and yet He gave me that and as always more than I ever thought to ask for. Sometimes I think that God simply desires to blow us away, wherever we are, even when we think we could be satisfied with less.

The first (of many) girls nights in Panama city....

Post Saturday morning prayer... the morning we moved!

First dinner at "home"... well the boys house that is!

For more pics... check out this link....

http://ucalgary.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45277&l=f9b54&id
=523285093

Yeah!!! An apartment!!! We picked up keys for our new home yesterday and its exciting to know that we have a place to move into tomorrow. Its a 3 bedroom, 3 bath apartment halfway furnished with a washer, dryer and appliances which is a rare find down here. We´ll be taking the bus to campus, its about a 15 or 20 minute ride but it´s only one bus so we should be able to figure it out... thanks so much for all your prayers!

This morning we woke up a little after 5 and headed to the campus for a prayer walk around the campus. It was awesome to lift up the students and faculties in prayer and also pray that God would raise the level of evangelism on our campus. My hope and prayer is that the staff and our stint team really leads that way in this. I´ll be working in the science faculty along with my co'leader Jon. The Panamanian staff member we´re working with doesn´t really speak English so my Spanish needs to get better and fast! It´s awesome though because I´ll be forced to speak it so I´ll be able to learn... but please keep that in your prayers as well.

I´ve been delving into 1 Peter chapter 1 this week. I would encourage you all to take a peek at that, its such a beautiful progression within that chapter and concludes with a prayer I have for our team. I´ve been praying that we would love each other deeply and 1 Peter 1, I think vs.22 talks about this. Love each other sincerely because we´ve been purchased with something imperishable... the blood of Christ. Its an awesome chapter and one of my favorite books... there´s simply so much there. As always you´ll be in my thoughts and prayers, thanks so much for keeping me in yours!

Well well! Here's some pics for you guys now that I found a less sketchy internet connection... still in the process of apartment hunting but it's looking good at this point! More soon!

Jessica, Tricia and Sarah on the plane ride... I can't figure out how to flip this... sorry!

Our airplane row... Jon, Me and Steve!
Our Panamanian welcoming committee! Gotta run... more to come!

Well we made it! As we were landing at the airport I remember looking out the window of the plane and thinking that’s home! We had a crazy trip down, from not knowing about the embargo on 3^rd pieces of luggage and oversize bags to being delayed 5 ½ hours in Newark, from losing luggage and a minor car accident with some of the Panamanians, it was an eventful day of traveling and as we landed at 2:30 in the morning we were just happy to be back. The Panamanian air feels wonderful. I just absolutely love this country. It’s weird and yet comforting how familiar everything seems as we walk around and pick up some essentials. The last couple of days has been intense as we’ve set up cell phones (I’m feeling less and less like a tourist) and gone searching for apartments. The real estate market in Panama City is going nuts and rent is sky rocketing which means it’s extremely difficult to find apartments. But we’re looking and learning more and more about each other and about God as we do that. Rod Alm always says that he’s happy when someone says no when they ask to talk about spiritual things because it means that there’s someone else God has for them to talk too. Jessica related this to apartment hunting. As we find more and more full buildings and high priced rent it simply means God has something better out there for and us that we just need to trust him and keep searching it out in faith. We’re in staff meetings tomorrow and the apartment hunting continues until a big dinner tomorrow night in celebration of the anniversary of Campus Crusade in Panama. It’s a great time to be here and I’m blown away by the partnership we get to be a part of. As we stepped off the plane so early in the morning we were greeted with cheers, posters and a welcome song. It’s so humbling to be an answer to someone’s prayers. This nation is ready to be impacted and I believe that an eternal difference is being and will be made. I’m so excited to get onto campus in the next couple of weeks and get rolling on ministry, whether its language learning or devotional time with the girls as I lead the team along with Jon. Pics to come as soon as I can get a better internet connection... much more to come!

In Guelph and all together finally!!!! Here's some pics and a quick update for you guys... Panama on Friday... so excited!

Leaving at the airport in Vancouver.... 5 am... here we go!
The team all together... finally! It feels right and we've decided that from now on we travel in 6's.... Gods totally hand picked this team and its so exciting to be a part of it!

We all made it here safe and sound, luggage and guitar included! The last couple of days of training have been great, the only real word I have for it is solid. We've spent a lot of time talking about communication, conflict resolution and all that fun and not so fun stuff. Language training and financial training followed so its been a little bit of everything which had been a little hardcore but awesome overall. The team is awesome. We sat through a Birkman analysis of out team dynamics and discovered we're a high fun team... which I think I figured already! It was good though to see who needs down time away from people (not me!) and who's high challenge, high esteem etc. etc. but it was awesome, I think it'll be super helpful later on.

Tomorrow we'll be dealing with details specific to Panama, such as roles, cultural stuff and things like getting our apartments set up (yeah!! apparently it's a pretty sweet setup in a neighborhood called El Dorado). Jon Agudelo and I will be leading the team which is both exciting and scary at the same time. I'm remembering a lot of lessons over the last couple of days that I've forgotten... like knowing and believing God is good and that he has called me to do this, there's so much more than that but I'll save it for later.... as always you guys are great, our team's awesome and God's great... so I think we're pretty much good to go!!! :) More to come!

So this will be super speedy but.... I leave tomorrow morning (way too early!!) from Vancouver to Toronto to meet up with the rest of my team. From there we leave on Friday morning for Panama City and then the rest will sort itself out!! Thanks so much for all your love and support as I've been crazily getting ready to go. I've been incredibly humbled by all the support and words of encouragement that you've all been so lovingly and willingly passing onto me in the last few months. I'll miss all of you but I know that this is exactly what God's called me to do and I'm excited to see what that'll look like over the next year. I love you all but this isn't goodbye because you'll all be hearing from me soon! I'll let you guys all know my new mailing addy and phone number in Panama with the August update that'll make its way out once we get down there.... if you need anything I'm always here... drop me a line.... lindsey.davies@c4c.ca Until then, much love and I pray you'll all be blessed even more than you've blessed me!

Love and prayers... Lins.

I'm leaving Calgary August 8th en route to Panama via Vancouver and then onto Toronto for some team training. Its craziness... honestly! I'm excited for so many things and yet at the same time nervous about a lot too. Its a hard place to be in sometimes when you don't have control over circumstances but it's in those times that we have a decision to make on who we're going to trust to control the uncontrollable. I think that some days more than others its a hard decision to make to trust God but at the same time He's never let me down when I do put my trust in Him. So as the days pass by ever so quick and I'm packing and sorting, and most likely crying I choose to rest in the fact that He loves me and cares for me more than anything.

Psalm 36:5-9 (The Message)

God's love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic,
His purpose titanic, his verdicts oceanic.
Yet in his largeness nothing gets lost;
Not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks.

How exquisite your love, O God!
How eager we are to run under your wings,
To eat our fill at the banquet you spread
as you fill our tankards with Eden spring water.
You're a fountain of cascading light, and you open our eyes to light.

So... I bought a guidebook for Panama a couple weeks ago and was finally perusing my way through it today. Just an interesting fact that's actually pretty sobering when you think about it;

Although Catholics are the majority, only about 20% of them attend church regularly. The religious orders aren't particularly strong in Panama either: only about 25% of Catholic clergy are Panamanian. The rest are foreign missionaries.

77% of the Panamanian population profess to be Roman Catholic and yet only 20% attend church. That's a crazy stat when you start crunching the numbers....

For the longest time, well the last year anyways Panama has been so far in the future that it almost didn't seem real. For months it was a year away, 9 months away etc., etc. and now the wheels are spinning away and I'm actually getting set to leave. My plane ticket out of Calgary is bought for August 8th which means that in less than a month I'm potentially gone for the next year. There's still a lot of "ifs" and "buts" and so so many details to get sorted out and yet I know I'm exactly where I need to be right now. So whether we leave as a team straight from Toronto or I'm back until sometime in September I still know and trust completely that all this details, all the things that could potentially stress me out are nothing in the face of a larger and ever loving God.

Just a brief glimpse of home...
I was at home this weekend for Canada Day. I went for a walk and came to the place where I shattered my leg a couple of years ago. The last time I was there is gave me the chills but the sun was shining and I was so thankful to be home that it didn't matter this time. So I just wanted to post some pics from this weekend and wish you all a belated Canada Day... Enjoy your summer!
This was the fence that broke my leg... notice the post on the right still standing... stupid post... haha oh well. I broke the one running horizontal... one point for the good guys!

The sunset... there's no place like home, it's still home to me!

I couldn't help but think of Panama this morning as I stepped out onto my porch. It was overcast and in Calgary that generally means snow. But yet instead it was warm and surprisingly humid. It reminded me of Panama and the rest of the afternoon I couldn't stop thinking about being back. I am so so excited and looking forward to being back in Panama City. In many ways I still don't think that it's completely sunk in that I'm actually leaving and yet I'm ready to be on that plane. Well not quite... but soon enough!

The first of the good-byes...

So last night a friend of mine came over for dinner and some hang out time. He's headed to Europe for a couple of months which is awesome... the only down side is that I won't be in the country when he gets back here. It was weird to say good-bye and realize I won't see him for over a year. But that's okay and that's how it'll be with everyone as I prepare myself to leave.

I was thinking about it last night as I was doing my devotional time (in the book of Acts again... good times!) but wondering how Jesus prepared his disciples for him being away. Then I realized that Jesus was in a completely different situation. He left the disciples physically yes but not spiritually and that's cool. The disciples still had his presence but I bet it was rough in those first days when Jesus was dead and buried. They had known something was coming but it was not at all the "kingdom" that they thought Jesus would be leaving behind. Interesting, its definately a thought in process but it'll come in time... and I'll learn how to say good-bye in my own way too!

Yesterday was my convocation from university and it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and I didn’t trip on my heels going across stage so altogether the whole things was a major blessing. So that combined with the beautiful piece of paper that means I officially have my Bachelors of Science degree. Four years and it all comes down to that. Crazy when it all comes into perspective that’s for sure. I’m sure I’ll have more to say on that as the summer gets on but right now something else is up;

We have one of those tear-off calendars that has a thought or quote every day by an author called Max Lucado. The one below is from a couple of days ago but really hit me one morning in my pre-fully awake phase:

“We have all wandered away like sheep: each of us has gone his own way”
Isaiah 53:6

How could a loving God send people to hell?... God does not “send” people to hell. Nor does he send “people” to hell… The word “people” is neutral, implying innocence. Nowhere does Scripture teach that innocent people are condemned. People do not go to hell. Sinners do. The rebellious do. The self-centered do. So how could a loving God send people to hell? He doesn’t. He simply honors the choice of sinners.

Max Lucado

Interesting hey??? I’ve never really heard it put that way but I think that it challenges an old idea that God sends people to hell. Yes we have a just God who judges us but does he choose to send us to heaven or hell? I don’t think so. I’m still mulling this over because its a new thought for me, but it made me think for sure.

I was at a youth conference a couple of weeks ago with my church youth group and a band called Delirious? played a killer concert. This song really blew me away and I've been listening to it over the last couple of days. It's just such a beautiful song of surrender and I wanted to share the lyrics with you guys.

Take Off My Shoes

I’ll take off my shoes, I’m coming in,
Untie this rope, I’m staying with him,
Love of my life, I’ll live and die,
Just for the moments for my king and I.

Why did you call, why did you wait,
For someone so guilty, someone so fake.
There are no words for my beautiful song,
Now I’m in the arms of my beautiful one.

Hold me, blow all the pride from my bones, with your fire.
Hold me, breathe on this heart made of stone, keep it pure.
Hold me, saviour of heaven and earth, King forever.
Hold me, love of my life lead me on,
Through the fire, lead me on...

I’ll take off this crown and fall at your feet,
The secret of joy are the moments we meet.
How could a man with all of your fame,
Pull me from darkness and call me by name.

So hold me today, as I carry your cross,
Into the desert to find who is lost.
Look at my hands, they’re still full of faith,
God keep them clean till we finish the race.

Written by Delirious? ©2005 Curious? Music UK

So for those of you who have been following along with me as I get ready to go back to Panama this is just a thought I was thinking about last night. I tend to journal a lot, especially as part of my devotional time and when I was in Panama this became an area to tease me (all in good fun of course!). My friend Jordi especially always wanted a journal reading of what was happening and what I had written down. So here's a snapshot of what I was thinking about last night, just something I had quickly written and wanted to share with you guys;

Romans 4:20-21 "Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised."

I love that verse, fully persuaded of Gods power and Gods character. Realizing and acknowledging God for who he is, so loving and so far beyond any idea of human capability. Abraham's body and Sarah's too was beyond the human capability to bear children and yet Abraham was fully, completely and wholeheartedly convinced of Gods capability to reach beyond that. He was strengthened throughout this process. Sometimes I want things to be easy, my relationships, my job, my future plans, and yet God doesn't work within these expectations. Beyond human capability, without God I can't do anything, especially that which he calls me too. And yet through him I'm made strong and capable but not at all own my own. Gods the capable one.

I love and I mean absolutely love the timing that God has. Now thats not everyday because sometimes I get frustrated but when it comes down to it his timing is always the best. Now here's the story;

In my third year of university I went sharing on campus (out talking with students about spirituality) and Jill and I met this awesome girl. I ended up meeting up with her the next week and we talked about faith and Christianity for like three hours until both of us were late for class. The following year (my fourth) I would run into her a lot and we'd chat and grab coffee and somehow the conversations always would come back to Christianity and her thoughts on the whole thing. It was like she was always so close to meeting God but there was something holding her back, she needed God to show himself to her. She left for Australia right after Christmas and was gone but still totally on my heart. Tonight I signed into msn for a completely different reason and she found me online. She's back in Calgary and the typed line that meant so much to me was this, "I found God in Australia Lindsey." This blew me away. The seeds that God had planted so long ago and had been being watered through prayers over continents finally sprouted. But as we plan on reconnecting this week for lunch and catching up I'm just dumbfounded by how gently and patiently God works on our hearts no matter where we are in our walk with him.

So my friends, be encouraged. We never know where and when God is at work but he is and he desires to blow us away with his timing. Seeds take time to grow, some quicker and some slower than others. But they grow.

Alrighty, so tomorrow morning our MET (Ministry Essentials Training) Team will be getting comissioned at headquarters in Langley. That's really exciting but in a way it feels like it's happening too fast. My roomate relates the whole thing to being on a reality show. We get faced with challenges and deadlines and she keeps thinking that someone is going to get voted off the island. But she states that's good because she doesn't really want to lose anyone... me either. But honestly it has been a crazy 8 days and the whole thing culminates tomorrow morning. Cool.

Staff, servant leadership, BBQ, and realizing something new;

As of the Thursday coming, I will be a fully comissioned staff member of Campus Crusade for Christ. That is something that I never ever would have thought would have happened. With going to Panama I was given (with a whole lot of grace) permission to go as an intern even though I'm a full staff member. It's definately a little confusing. Actually it technically means I'm a clergy member which is kind of nuts but more later....

Tonight all of us here at MET (Ministry Essentials Training) had the invitation to go the president of Campus Crusdae for Christ Canada's house for dinner. As he BBQ'd burgers for us and sat with us and heard testimonies from our own lives I was blown away again by the type of organization that I am going to work for. It was such an example of servant leadership. The first night we were here, our president cast vision to us on a large scale. I totally agree with him 100% and am so so excited to be a part of something so much larger than me. But the next morning he talked to our group about the importance of keeping your relationship with God a priority in our lives. He said something to the extent of "guys, you can throw all the vision out the window if our walks with God is not where our priority is." It was such an encouragement to hear that coming from our leader and bascially my "big boss man," or as he states it the "big servant man." It's really hard to put this all into words but it's coming slowly.

Time and time God is completely humbling me. This is such an amazing group of people that I am blessed to be here with and they blow me away day after day. I'm realizing that although national campus ministry may not be where I see myself for the rest of my career, I am fully committed to the fulfillment of the Great Comission and I'm here until God calls me somewhere else. I think that might just make me a lifer but really who knows??

Today for me it was the realization that this is what I want to commit my life to. There is no greater thing than seeing people come alive in the love of Christ, its such a beautiful thing and there is nothing worth more than that. All the pain, stress and worries that I may face pales in the comparison of seeing someone come into a knowing relationship with Christ. Its simply worth everything.

With all my love,

Lins

My bad.... its been a while and this one will be short. But (!!!!) last day of classes which is awesome, it's been a crazy four years and its nuts in that my degree is finally over, well other than finals I guess. So... Happy Bermuda Shorts Day everyone, its a U of C thing!! On that note, I had surgery on Tuesday so I am no longer a bionic women, no more titanium in my leg and hopefully that will be the last surgery.... but it'll be weird not to set off metal detectors at the airport anymore..... :)

Why are we uncomfortable in the face of someone who needs something that we can give? A young man interrupted my religious studies class last week first wondering where the bathroom was and next asking for a bus ticket or change to get home (my class is downtown in a cultural center). No one knew what to do, my prof laughed out loud and laughter rippled through the room until people started reaching for wallets and change and one girl finally pulled out a bus ticket. What is it that gets people to that state? Deep down there is a discomfort when faced with the pain of suffering and being uncomfortable in the face of someone who doesn’t have what we sit there having. I’m sitting in this course, paying close to five hundred dollars to hear my prof lecture on perspectives of suffering in religion, we’re faced with someone in need and no one knows what to do.

I had a flashback to an afternoon in Panama where our team was on the adventure cycle and eating lunch in a grocery store cafeteria. An old man walked slowly up and down the aisles in the café, not asking for anything and not looking for anything, just slowly walking. But, he absolutely broke my heart. The clothing, the dirtiness, just the absolute emptiness in his eyes and his steps. He sat down in a little booth a couple of tables away, and again I had no idea what to do. I was too emotionally choked up to make a move and still conversation flowed all around me. I asked my friend Jon to go and buy him some lunch which he did and sat down and talked to him for a minute or two. I have no idea what was said even still but the moment continues to stick with me even now.

Last night I was reading in Luke when Jesus performs a miracle and raises the widow’s dead son from the dead. Verse 13 states that “when the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her…” This is one of my favorite passages. Jesus’ heart moved with compassion for the pain and suffering that this woman was going through. He loves us so much and I think it pains him when we suffer, whatever exactly that means. But his heart still moves in response to our pain and that gives me the strength and encouragement. I’m a tenderhearted person and if you spend a lot of time with me you’ll find that I am really prone to tears when something touches my heart. I get what this verse is saying, it totally hits home for me. Our hearts need to move when someone is in pain, and sometimes we need to take a step of faith and act with compassion towards those around us. Matthew 9:36 says when Jesus saw the crowds he had compassion on them. It’s when our hearts aren’t moved by those around us that I think we have a problem. I think my favorite bible character is King David and largely because he was a man after Gods heart. I want to be a woman after the heart of the Father and I pray that continually he remolds and reshapes my heart, so that I’m passionate what God is passionate about and that the things that break his heart would also break mine too. I know that this is kind of a heavy thought, it’s just been on my heart for a while, let me know what you think.

August 13, 2007- leave to Toronto for STINT training
August 17, 2007- leave for Panama

Wow.

Tagged... 5 things you'll know now...

So Sarah (one of my fellow STINT team members) has "tagged" me... which means I need to come up with 5 things that no one knows about me and post them, so... let me see, (Sarah I'll try and make these good seeing as we'll be roomies for a year):

1. I'm horrified of mice/rats- I can handle bugs, snakes etc. but the little mice absolutely give me the creeps. I think it dates back to the "Great Mouse Detective" movie by Walt Disney.... anyone seen that cartoon and then at the end the villain, "Rattigan" or whatever his name was goes all crazy on the London Clock Tower... anyone.... anyone.... but my zoology prof thought it was hilarious in the lab when we had to work with rats, no fun at all.

2. When I was little and my brother and I were playing, I would simply sit on him until I got what I wanted... man I wasn't a nice older sister... but he can kick my butt now without trying, although he never really needs to. :)

3. I'm not a very confrontational person. I tend to run away from situations in which there could be conflict and would rather let myself get stomped all over than offend someone else. But, I'm aware of this which means I'm realizing that conflict can actually have good results and really build relationships and that they're not all bad.

4. I've always wanted to live in England. Even before I had actually been there I simply wanted to go to England. I loved it when I was there 2 years ago and somewhere down the road I'd like to go back, whether to work on a campus there with C4C or go back for my masters... but we'll see what happens...

5. I hated being called "lins" for the longest time. I'm not sure why but it would annoy me when people didn't call me lindsey. But, I'm completely over it and sign everything with my nickname. In high school all my close friends called me LD.... so whatever works is cool with me.

I think thats all. It took me a while to come up with those...

There's sure a lot going on, but in a lot of ways thats to be expected during the last months of school. Friday at our weekly meeting for Campus for Christ a guy named Eric Rose talked about a couple of things that have really been on my heart since then. Just wanted to post them to get them off my chest;

Evangelism is not just a passion for God but it's an urgent passion. It's not just something we can do whenever but there is a time frame that we're in and every day that we have is crucial to making a difference. Evangelism was and is the priority for Jesus when he was on the earth and continues to be on Gods heart today. This is what really blew me away, and definately caused me some thought, if evangelism is God's priority why should mine be any different? That really threw down the challenge to me, let me know what you guys think... until then, much love, be blessed!

(P.S. And Sarah I'm working on my 5 things you guys don't know about me... it's pretty hard actually... but coming soon I hope... )

It's been a while since I actually posted something. Just got home from reading week in BC, spending some time with my family. Lots more to say and a tonne of interesting stuff happened but right now studying for midterms... more to come this week!

These are some pictures from Deception Pass in the States, I was happy, we saw the ocean!!


I lovingly call these "Jesus clouds"- they were absolutely beautiful!

Just a crazy reflection on a lake near the pass, again it was a beautiful blessing of a day!

In the middle of my religious studies class I suddenly remembered this night I was in London. I had gone to an early church service at the Hillsong church and was killing time and trying to find some dinner. I honestly think I just got off at a random subway station that didn’t look too sketchy and just went for a walk. I had had an absolutely beautiful day on my own, went to St. Paul’s cathedral and was blown away by the beauty of it. Went to the London Bridge, picked up a bagel at a random little coffee shop and just enjoyed the time I had. I remember finally finding a fish and chips place and sitting outside at a little table eating. It was a gorgeous evening. I sat there in that moment, just enjoying the fact that I was finally in London and totally blessed by that. It’s hard to explain but I was just watching, looking and living in the moment that God had given to me.

I think there are a lot of these moments that we have. Days and instances when we’re struck by something more than we are on our own. For me they’ve been driving to school in the fall with the falling leaves and all the color, standing on the ocean shore, cuddled up in a chair during a ferry crossing, walking with my dog in the country and seeing the clear night sky. I’m grateful for these moments and blown away sometimes by being in them. They pass as time continues, but for a second there’s a glimpse of something more, more love than I can comprehend, more beauty than I can imagine and in a lot of ways a plan and will better than I will ever understand.

Lots going on... but in the middle of everything:

Whatever faith may be, and whatever answers it may give, and to whomsoever it gives them, every such answer gives to the finite existence of man an infinite meaning, a meaning not destroyed by sufferings, deprivations, or death. Leo Tolstoy

Just a thought.

I'm OFFICIALLY (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) going on STINT in Panama. This is awesome!!! Haha I have the biggest grin on my face right now and my genetics essay is going to be way harder to get finished tonight now, haha oh well, totally worth it, wow God is cool! I totally needed this after the week I just had..... :)

There is simply a lot going on and its kinda all combining together into a big mess, well not really a mess.... but you probably know the feeling. I woke up yesterday and the sky was glowing this weird red-orange color. In my dazed stupor that is me when I wake up, the initial confusion wore off and I just remember thinking that I really wanted to see a Panamanian sunset or sunrise, and just praying and telling God that I am ready to go. Steps are in motion to be joining staff and going for some training in May so that's going to be intense but I'm really looking forward to seeing the plans that God has for my life come into play. Still waiting on "formal acceptance" for the team, but then I'm ready to rock!

The first couple of days of the semester were a little insane but life is slowly back down to a normal but still hectic pace. C4C is gearing up for our major outreach of the semester and I think that it is definately going to push the comfort level for a lot of us. Porn Nation: Pure Freedom (the event) examines the hyper-sexualization of our culture and how this affects our lives as students. It's really going to hit home for a lot of people, but at the same time I think in many ways its an issue in which we as Christians dodge around. No one really likes to talk about the whole thing so I know its going to be a challenge for a lot of us. But we'll see, it's going to bo good and I know that theres a lot to be said for being uncomfortable. It's meeting people where they're at and going from there.

School had begun again and its finally sinking in that this is the last semester. God and I had what I jokingly call an argument at Winter Conference about me joining staff with Campus for Christ. I know that it's what God is calling me to do and things at the grad seminar at conference popped up about unmet needs. C4C is on only 27 out of the top 40 campuses in Canada and the campuses we have staff on are not even all fully staffed. That to me signifies an unmet needs, thousands of them when you think about the individual students on those campuses.

Today I was thinking about the whole thing and really starting to realize that although I believe that Gods will is good and perfect for my life, it's still is sometimes not the easiest thing to follow or even what I want to do. My pastors wife told me on Sunday that you never feel capabale and you never feel equipped but still the call (to ministry) is the greatest and most amazing thing ever. Not of course to say that God is calling all of us to full time ministry but that the call to be doing his work is the greatest thing ever. Not necessarily the easiest, or even the most straightforward, but the best. I choose to believe that his plans are good for my life, and I'll hold onto that tight. STINT, then staff, I honestly never would have thought, but I guess thats the cool things about God, we just never really know do we?

2 years ago today I broke my leg! I went out for lunch with a friend today and it really got me thinking about the changes I've seen in my life over the past little while and really sorting out where my heart is at in relation to ministry and I guess to life in general. More to come for sure, but Happy New Years, it's sure to be an interesting one!

All done!!!!! One more semester to go and then this degree is finished!

Thinking a lot this week about the new year and what that means. New Years has never been a really big deal to me because September is when I feel the "new year" begins. It has to do with going back to school and yes that makes me a huge nerd. Anyways, I've been thinking this week about really what I want from God this year in terms of what I want to see him do on campus and in my life. I was reminded this morning how much Christ loves us, with Christmas and everything coming. My pastor was talking about how all throughout scripture whenever Jesus would pray he would always use the noun Father, Abba and so on. The only time this ever changed was when he was hanging on the cross. It was in that moment that he said, "my God, my God." On the surface its not really a huge deal, so what it was a different word choice, BUT (!) his communion with the Father was completely gone, it was absolute and heart-wrenching. Think about that. God is not my judge, he's my Saviour and honestly the more and more I realize the love that he had for us, the more I realize how unworthy I am of it. But thats the beautiful thing about grace!

4 down, 1 more to go... So... 1 more final tommorrow morning, Latin American Studies 201 and then I am free for the holidays. Christmas and Winter Conference!

Its sheer craziness in all honesty. I was writing out Christmas cards this week and realized that its pretty much looking like next year I'll have palm trees and smoking hot weather to celebrate with, as well as some close friends and no family. Weird actually in a lot of ways to think about... I dunno, theres definately days it seems like it'll be no big deal to pick up and leave for a year, but in a lot of ways I'm scared and a nervous about what exactly that'll mean. I'm so excited to go and I know that this is what God has planned for my life for the next year at least, its the little details that surprise me sometimes. But (!!!) Gods got the whole thing covered and under control, theres no point me worrying about it because his plans are always better than mine anyways!

At the Campus for Christ Christmas party....

Coolest "gingerbread house" ever.. we even won a prize!

(I figured I needed a picture of some Christmas variety)

So I was thinking a lot about Christmas the last couple of days, put the tree up and everything (which for the record, is now half-lit because I didn't check the other strands of lights before I put them on the tree....) Anyways... just thinking a lot about how different it will be to be away next Christmas in Panama and how its one of those things that comes with growing up and making decisions on your own. I'll miss my family for sure, but they'll be there when I come home and I know that for now this is something that I need to do. Its comforting knowing there are people coming that I trust and have connected with this summer in Panama, so I guess we will see, we sure won't have snow and a classic Christmas tree, thats for sure, but God is putting together an awesome team and I'm excited to see how it'll turn out! It's craziness for sure!

I'm officially going to Panama! I am accepted, and pending that we have a full team of at least 2 girls and 2 boys we're good to go. I have a huge grin needless to say! PANAMA... wow!

Yesterday in the mail I recieved the letter I had written to myself at debrief in Panama. It was so cool to read, haha after I had gotten over the initial confusion of why the address was written in my handwriting. It was awesome just to be reminded of a lot of cool things that had happened both within our team but also in my own heart. I'm totally still growing from where I was and too was so encouraged to see that I hadn't fallen further away from where I was when I was in Panama. Just good stuff! I'm just getting excited to go! On the up side of things it won't be cold there.. I'll miss the snow, but not the temperature.... :)

Brrrrrr......!

The weather is intensely cold right now... like -40 with the wind chill... nutty I'm saying but oh well! Other than that, I recieved a personality test to do for my STINT application today in the mail and its cool because it's one more step to get closer to actually going! Finals are on there way, as is Christmas and Winter Conference, needless to say I'm looking forward to both... and being done my second last semester of school!

So... I applied to convocate in June today... craziness!

Alrighty... so the Lions won the Grey Cup yesterday haha right and that was awesome. Just wanted though to post a quick note. My application is being processed for STINT right now and it feels really godo to have it in and everything. God just keeps revealing his heart to me about Panama and more about who I am and why my heart is wired the way it is. I'm starting a time of prayer and fasting today which I think will be craziness but I really want to learn to be dependent on God and learn to hear his heart. So we'll see how it goes anyways! Christmas is coming up fast too which is awesome and it'll also mean I'm down to four months of school! More to come as always...

Okay, so this totally doesnt look like it, and I have no idea what kind of grin that is on my face (I was kinda excited...!) but that is my STINT application which I dropped off at the Campus for Christ headquarters in BC this weekend! Rock on!

K guys, just read this one...

I was just looking at some pictures for this summer and trying to think about what to say tommorrow to encourage people to consider going to Panama this spring or summer on project. My heart is already there, I can't even get back to work on my paper because it honestly just aches to get back there and back to work. There is such a harvest waiting, just waiting if we are faithful and willing to go. Even simply rethinking why we're going down has totally solidified my committment to going back for STINT. My heart is already there. I know that in a tonne of ways its so hard to explain what going on in my life. But what I do know is this. As a part of the STINT team, God calls me to head down and further his kingdom, fulfill the Great Comission to the utter outmosts of my ability. I want to see relationships restores and passion reignited in the Christians that are there. I want to see people understand the crucial difference between religion and a personal and living relationship with our Heavenly Father. I want to see people become passionate about who they are in Christ and to walk in that daily, making an impact on their Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and the ends of their world. Its really not about me at all. Its about God and his heart for the lost. If I can only catch a piece of that, to get that passion and desire in my heart to reach the lost God is going to do huge things. I know and believe with all my heart that his plans are good and so good for me. They're better than everything I know or ever will know.

Scratch one of the list of things to do before I graduate... I finally painted "The Rock!" Spray paint all over my frozen fingers.. but so worth it!

So.. just remembered something really cool! Franklin Graham (son of Billy Graham) is doing whats called "A Festival of Hope" in Panama City this Febrauary!!! Thats so cool! A festival of hope is basically a 2-3 day festival with bands and the presentation of the gospel to thousands of people over the time period. I thought it was so cool to see how God is totally working in Latin America right now, the harvest is plentiful, we just need to go down and work it!

Monday morning and here at school for 8am prayer. Looks like no one else made it so I put some tunes on and am going to write down some thoughts and prayers for this time.

Father God I thank you so much for this time, that even though its just you and me.

Haha Amy and Zoe just showed up, it was the C-train. I was right on the transit note anyways. But posting this really quick because I was looking as this passage last night and it was super good.

Psalm 16:5-8 (the message) "My choice is you, first and only. And now I find I'm your choice! You set me up with a houtse and yard. And then you made me a heir! The wise counsel God gives me when I am awake us confirmed by my sleeping heart. Day and night I'll stick with God. I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go."

This week is going to be nutty with outreach and midterms but I just really ask that as you say in Psalm 62 that you would "lead me to the rock that is higher than I," to the special place of refuge that you have for me, that I would take time this week and be still, knowing you are God.

Just wanted to post an excerpt from an email I got this morning.... because its good...

"I do pray you have a good weekend. May you have eyes to see and ears to hear what God is up to. May you treat time as a gift and not a possession. Your life is to be purposeful not purpose-driven. Yes we all need good time management skills but not the kind that make us grumpy and anxious but aware of the chaos and messiness of life, the delights and the despair, the breakdowns and the breakthroughs. The laughter and the tears. May you live full, rich lives. As Eugene Peterson writes in his rendering of Proverbs 11:24: The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.May you give yourselves generously first to God and I pray that you will seek other's blessing as well and that in the midst of that you will be blessed. I am thankful to Mark Buchanan and his book The Rest of God for challenging me with these thoughts. "

Just found out yesterday too that our STINT team continues to grow! I was praying for more women because the whole 3-4 guys plus me thing wasn't looking good. But I got an email from a friend of mine I was in Panama with last summer and she has decided to come on STINT. I'm so excited, she's awesome!! So yep, its been cool to see how God is putting together an amazing team for next year. Just people I've totally connected with already this summer, which makes it easier to fathom being away from my family and everything "normal". Just knowing I have people on the team that I trust and can relate too makes everything a little easier!

Just found out Switchfoot is releasing an album in December... party on!


Yep thats all I have for now, thought I'd share the love...

Alrighty, 4 midterms done and 1 to go. Our massive outreach for C4C is this week and its been so cool to see how God is clearing up details for the lectures and mobilizing the students in the ministry to raise the awareness of the whole thing. I was chatting with one of "my girls" during out discipleship time yesterday about time management. Looking back, its been so cool to see how God has totally worked in my life to help me utilize my time the best I can. I remember in my first year God spoke to me and asked, "are you being faithful with your time?" It was an awesome reminder that we have limited time and we need to glorify God with it. Also thinking a lot about the love that Christ has for us. Romans 8:38ish talks about that. I was thinking how cool that is that nothing can seperate us from this love, even when I screw up and make mistakes. There's that verse that talks about "Christs love compells us" (I'll find it eventually) and made the connection. Nothing that I do seperates me from his love and therefore I'm compelled to share with my friends, participate in our outreaches and seek to walk in his will and glorify him with my actions. So a couple of random thoughts but its been good.. life is good, and above all, God is good!

Hey,

So its been another crazy week, middle of midterms, but at the same some really cool things have been going on. We (Campus for Christ) are bringing in a guest lecturer named Michael Horner for a series of lectures in November. I'm in charge of booking rooms and it was not looking good at all. There were new rooms at all that would work for the lecture and the lady at the university I was working with was honestly hard to work with. I realized this weekend though that too often I walk in defeat. I kept trying and trying to get rooms booked but expecting that nothing was going to come from it. Sunday at church I was reminded that Gods already got us covered, he's already won the war, or whatever battle we are fighting. Monday morning I called the room booking lady and ran into another brick wall it seemed. But, God is totally faithful she emailed saying there were three rooms available for out lecture, and one that is going to work beautifully. Its so cool to see that God is totally taking care of us. He has huge plans for my campus, I know this to be true and sometimes I just need to claim the massive victories that Christ has already won. More later.. gotta run!

Alrighty... so thoughts. Its been a crazy week and I haven't had any time to work on my application, although its constantly been on my heart and mind. Work has been absolutley nutty, I apparently picked one of the busiest restaurants in the city and therefore the nights are getting later as I'm up studying. Through all of it though its been really cool to see how God is continually giving me patience and strength as I go about the day and totally blessing me with some awesome conversations. Totally encouraging! Our ladies leadership discipleship group has been reading a book called "the discipline of grace," (by jerry bridges) and its been such as good reminder that on bad days (and even on the good ones) we are never beyond the reach and never beyond the need of Gods grace. I know thats true in my life for sure!

Alright, so the pile of papers that is my STINT application is printed and ready to be filled out. Lots of questions so the whole task is daunting, but I'm ready to get rolling and mail the whole thing out by November 1. Seems like its a lot of time, but I know I need it with everything else going on! I'm excited though for sure!

Here we go again!

October has come and its crazy that September has come and gone already! Panama project was amazing and things still remind me of there all the time, the people and the places. Something happened (actually a lot of things happened) in my heart and I've made my decision to apply to go on STINT next year in Panama City. What that means exactly is that I want to go back and invest in the ministy, by lending manpower and support for a period of 10-12 months. Details still need to be worked out, I still need to actually pull together my massive application and get that rolling. I feel like something was left unfinished when I came home and it took my a while to pinpoint thats what I was feeling. So I want to go back!