I'm OFFICIALLY (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) going on STINT in Panama. This is awesome!!! Haha I have the biggest grin on my face right now and my genetics essay is going to be way harder to get finished tonight now, haha oh well, totally worth it, wow God is cool! I totally needed this after the week I just had..... :)

There is simply a lot going on and its kinda all combining together into a big mess, well not really a mess.... but you probably know the feeling. I woke up yesterday and the sky was glowing this weird red-orange color. In my dazed stupor that is me when I wake up, the initial confusion wore off and I just remember thinking that I really wanted to see a Panamanian sunset or sunrise, and just praying and telling God that I am ready to go. Steps are in motion to be joining staff and going for some training in May so that's going to be intense but I'm really looking forward to seeing the plans that God has for my life come into play. Still waiting on "formal acceptance" for the team, but then I'm ready to rock!

The first couple of days of the semester were a little insane but life is slowly back down to a normal but still hectic pace. C4C is gearing up for our major outreach of the semester and I think that it is definately going to push the comfort level for a lot of us. Porn Nation: Pure Freedom (the event) examines the hyper-sexualization of our culture and how this affects our lives as students. It's really going to hit home for a lot of people, but at the same time I think in many ways its an issue in which we as Christians dodge around. No one really likes to talk about the whole thing so I know its going to be a challenge for a lot of us. But we'll see, it's going to bo good and I know that theres a lot to be said for being uncomfortable. It's meeting people where they're at and going from there.

School had begun again and its finally sinking in that this is the last semester. God and I had what I jokingly call an argument at Winter Conference about me joining staff with Campus for Christ. I know that it's what God is calling me to do and things at the grad seminar at conference popped up about unmet needs. C4C is on only 27 out of the top 40 campuses in Canada and the campuses we have staff on are not even all fully staffed. That to me signifies an unmet needs, thousands of them when you think about the individual students on those campuses.

Today I was thinking about the whole thing and really starting to realize that although I believe that Gods will is good and perfect for my life, it's still is sometimes not the easiest thing to follow or even what I want to do. My pastors wife told me on Sunday that you never feel capabale and you never feel equipped but still the call (to ministry) is the greatest and most amazing thing ever. Not of course to say that God is calling all of us to full time ministry but that the call to be doing his work is the greatest thing ever. Not necessarily the easiest, or even the most straightforward, but the best. I choose to believe that his plans are good for my life, and I'll hold onto that tight. STINT, then staff, I honestly never would have thought, but I guess thats the cool things about God, we just never really know do we?

2 years ago today I broke my leg! I went out for lunch with a friend today and it really got me thinking about the changes I've seen in my life over the past little while and really sorting out where my heart is at in relation to ministry and I guess to life in general. More to come for sure, but Happy New Years, it's sure to be an interesting one!

All done!!!!! One more semester to go and then this degree is finished!

Thinking a lot this week about the new year and what that means. New Years has never been a really big deal to me because September is when I feel the "new year" begins. It has to do with going back to school and yes that makes me a huge nerd. Anyways, I've been thinking this week about really what I want from God this year in terms of what I want to see him do on campus and in my life. I was reminded this morning how much Christ loves us, with Christmas and everything coming. My pastor was talking about how all throughout scripture whenever Jesus would pray he would always use the noun Father, Abba and so on. The only time this ever changed was when he was hanging on the cross. It was in that moment that he said, "my God, my God." On the surface its not really a huge deal, so what it was a different word choice, BUT (!) his communion with the Father was completely gone, it was absolute and heart-wrenching. Think about that. God is not my judge, he's my Saviour and honestly the more and more I realize the love that he had for us, the more I realize how unworthy I am of it. But thats the beautiful thing about grace!

4 down, 1 more to go... So... 1 more final tommorrow morning, Latin American Studies 201 and then I am free for the holidays. Christmas and Winter Conference!

Its sheer craziness in all honesty. I was writing out Christmas cards this week and realized that its pretty much looking like next year I'll have palm trees and smoking hot weather to celebrate with, as well as some close friends and no family. Weird actually in a lot of ways to think about... I dunno, theres definately days it seems like it'll be no big deal to pick up and leave for a year, but in a lot of ways I'm scared and a nervous about what exactly that'll mean. I'm so excited to go and I know that this is what God has planned for my life for the next year at least, its the little details that surprise me sometimes. But (!!!) Gods got the whole thing covered and under control, theres no point me worrying about it because his plans are always better than mine anyways!

At the Campus for Christ Christmas party....

Coolest "gingerbread house" ever.. we even won a prize!

(I figured I needed a picture of some Christmas variety)

So I was thinking a lot about Christmas the last couple of days, put the tree up and everything (which for the record, is now half-lit because I didn't check the other strands of lights before I put them on the tree....) Anyways... just thinking a lot about how different it will be to be away next Christmas in Panama and how its one of those things that comes with growing up and making decisions on your own. I'll miss my family for sure, but they'll be there when I come home and I know that for now this is something that I need to do. Its comforting knowing there are people coming that I trust and have connected with this summer in Panama, so I guess we will see, we sure won't have snow and a classic Christmas tree, thats for sure, but God is putting together an awesome team and I'm excited to see how it'll turn out! It's craziness for sure!

I'm officially going to Panama! I am accepted, and pending that we have a full team of at least 2 girls and 2 boys we're good to go. I have a huge grin needless to say! PANAMA... wow!

Yesterday in the mail I recieved the letter I had written to myself at debrief in Panama. It was so cool to read, haha after I had gotten over the initial confusion of why the address was written in my handwriting. It was awesome just to be reminded of a lot of cool things that had happened both within our team but also in my own heart. I'm totally still growing from where I was and too was so encouraged to see that I hadn't fallen further away from where I was when I was in Panama. Just good stuff! I'm just getting excited to go! On the up side of things it won't be cold there.. I'll miss the snow, but not the temperature.... :)

Brrrrrr......!

The weather is intensely cold right now... like -40 with the wind chill... nutty I'm saying but oh well! Other than that, I recieved a personality test to do for my STINT application today in the mail and its cool because it's one more step to get closer to actually going! Finals are on there way, as is Christmas and Winter Conference, needless to say I'm looking forward to both... and being done my second last semester of school!

So... I applied to convocate in June today... craziness!

Alrighty... so the Lions won the Grey Cup yesterday haha right and that was awesome. Just wanted though to post a quick note. My application is being processed for STINT right now and it feels really godo to have it in and everything. God just keeps revealing his heart to me about Panama and more about who I am and why my heart is wired the way it is. I'm starting a time of prayer and fasting today which I think will be craziness but I really want to learn to be dependent on God and learn to hear his heart. So we'll see how it goes anyways! Christmas is coming up fast too which is awesome and it'll also mean I'm down to four months of school! More to come as always...

Okay, so this totally doesnt look like it, and I have no idea what kind of grin that is on my face (I was kinda excited...!) but that is my STINT application which I dropped off at the Campus for Christ headquarters in BC this weekend! Rock on!

K guys, just read this one...

I was just looking at some pictures for this summer and trying to think about what to say tommorrow to encourage people to consider going to Panama this spring or summer on project. My heart is already there, I can't even get back to work on my paper because it honestly just aches to get back there and back to work. There is such a harvest waiting, just waiting if we are faithful and willing to go. Even simply rethinking why we're going down has totally solidified my committment to going back for STINT. My heart is already there. I know that in a tonne of ways its so hard to explain what going on in my life. But what I do know is this. As a part of the STINT team, God calls me to head down and further his kingdom, fulfill the Great Comission to the utter outmosts of my ability. I want to see relationships restores and passion reignited in the Christians that are there. I want to see people understand the crucial difference between religion and a personal and living relationship with our Heavenly Father. I want to see people become passionate about who they are in Christ and to walk in that daily, making an impact on their Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and the ends of their world. Its really not about me at all. Its about God and his heart for the lost. If I can only catch a piece of that, to get that passion and desire in my heart to reach the lost God is going to do huge things. I know and believe with all my heart that his plans are good and so good for me. They're better than everything I know or ever will know.

Scratch one of the list of things to do before I graduate... I finally painted "The Rock!" Spray paint all over my frozen fingers.. but so worth it!

So.. just remembered something really cool! Franklin Graham (son of Billy Graham) is doing whats called "A Festival of Hope" in Panama City this Febrauary!!! Thats so cool! A festival of hope is basically a 2-3 day festival with bands and the presentation of the gospel to thousands of people over the time period. I thought it was so cool to see how God is totally working in Latin America right now, the harvest is plentiful, we just need to go down and work it!

Monday morning and here at school for 8am prayer. Looks like no one else made it so I put some tunes on and am going to write down some thoughts and prayers for this time.

Father God I thank you so much for this time, that even though its just you and me.

Haha Amy and Zoe just showed up, it was the C-train. I was right on the transit note anyways. But posting this really quick because I was looking as this passage last night and it was super good.

Psalm 16:5-8 (the message) "My choice is you, first and only. And now I find I'm your choice! You set me up with a houtse and yard. And then you made me a heir! The wise counsel God gives me when I am awake us confirmed by my sleeping heart. Day and night I'll stick with God. I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go."

This week is going to be nutty with outreach and midterms but I just really ask that as you say in Psalm 62 that you would "lead me to the rock that is higher than I," to the special place of refuge that you have for me, that I would take time this week and be still, knowing you are God.

Just wanted to post an excerpt from an email I got this morning.... because its good...

"I do pray you have a good weekend. May you have eyes to see and ears to hear what God is up to. May you treat time as a gift and not a possession. Your life is to be purposeful not purpose-driven. Yes we all need good time management skills but not the kind that make us grumpy and anxious but aware of the chaos and messiness of life, the delights and the despair, the breakdowns and the breakthroughs. The laughter and the tears. May you live full, rich lives. As Eugene Peterson writes in his rendering of Proverbs 11:24: The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.May you give yourselves generously first to God and I pray that you will seek other's blessing as well and that in the midst of that you will be blessed. I am thankful to Mark Buchanan and his book The Rest of God for challenging me with these thoughts. "

Just found out yesterday too that our STINT team continues to grow! I was praying for more women because the whole 3-4 guys plus me thing wasn't looking good. But I got an email from a friend of mine I was in Panama with last summer and she has decided to come on STINT. I'm so excited, she's awesome!! So yep, its been cool to see how God is putting together an amazing team for next year. Just people I've totally connected with already this summer, which makes it easier to fathom being away from my family and everything "normal". Just knowing I have people on the team that I trust and can relate too makes everything a little easier!

Just found out Switchfoot is releasing an album in December... party on!


Yep thats all I have for now, thought I'd share the love...