A centurion's faith, a widow's son and a possessed man....

In Luke 7:1-10 a centurion sends the Jewish elders to Jesus to request for Jesus to come and heal his valued servant. He does this because he feels that he is not worthy of coming to Jesus himself (vs.7) and yet, Jesus states that it is his faith that is greater than any that he had even found in all of Israel (vs.9). It made me think... we're never worthy to come to Jesus, our sin has messed that up, and yet He comes to us. People (like the elders in this story) come to Jesus on our behalf by praying and interceding for us, but its Jesus who himself decides to come and act and our faith impacts that.

At the same time though I think that our circumstance is a big part of things. Continuing on in Luke 7:11-17, Jesus raises the son of a widow from the dead. In vs.13 it says that, "when the Lord saw her (the widow) his heart went out to her and he said, "Don't cry."" He raises the young man from the dead and "Jesus gave him back to his mother." (vs.15). Time and time again when Jesus heals throughout the New Testament it says that he does this in response to faith (Luke 8:48 for example), whether spoken or simply in the eyes and the actions of the people desiring and more than that believing to be healed. Here there's no talk of the widow's faith, simply that the Lord's heart went out to her and he acts on that.... I think it's absolutely beautiful. How many times do I let my heart be broken and act based on circumstance? Not enough.

This morning I read the story in Luke 8:26-39 when Jesus healed a demon possessed man and again the idea of circumstance came up. In vs. 27 it says "for a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs." This in itself is a physical manifestation of our spiritual brokeness without Christ. In Rev 3:17 it talks about this condition and how, "You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." This man was naked, homeless and living among the dead, and in a tortured state, he knew his condition and the demons themselves were scared when Jesus came to cast them out (vs.28-29). The sin in our lives is shameful in light of the glory of Christ, but yet there was healing for this man (vs.35) and there is healing for us.

Jesus said in Isaiah 61:1-3 "The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeanace of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty in instead of ashes, the oil of gladness, instead of mourning, and a garment of praise,instead of a spirit of despair."

The joy of my life is that I don't have to live in my broken state of sin. Jesus came to take us out of our condition and he counsels us to come to him and "to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." (Rev 3:18). Jesus acts in response to our faith, he acts in response to our circumstance and he acts in response to our brokenness but we still need to come to him and let ourselves be healed.

Just wanted to say I hope you're all having a very Merry Christmas!! We've been singing Christmas carols which has been great... other than "let it snow, let it snow, let it snow," just doesn't ring as true as it could.... see you all soon, I need to go put turkey in the oven!! Love you all so much!(Jessica, Emily, Tricia and I at Casca Viejo

before the Christmas cantata at Teatro Nacional.)

Kinda a weird note today but I was thinking all the cab drivers in this city. This week more so than normal I've been in cabs all over the city. My grasp of Spanish has improved vastly from 4 months ago and its too the place I can actually have a conversation that makes some sense. It's just been nutty, but my first conversation that made me giggle was when the cab driver kept asking me why I didn't speak french and I was Canadian... then I had a cab driver recite me poetry about the sunshine when I asked him how his day was. And then today one driver put in english hip-hop when we got in and the next driver, with his 5 or 6 words in English called the traffic in Panama crazy and then proceeded to tell us in Spanish how his day was better because Jess and I were in the cab. I love being able to converse with the men that more or less make this city how it is. They just crack me up.

Tuesday night after a freezing cold bus ride (seriously, I had 2 shirts and a hoody on and still froze...) the western half of our team (Jessica, Steve and I) returned from a vision trip to the interior city of David. Before we left I really had no idea of what we were doing or going to do. Sure I had a list of smart sounding questions and concerns to be addressed but I really wasn't sure how it was going to play out. But we had an amazing trip!

One of the things that we really focused on was what we called the "current reality": whats really going on with the campus ministry, who's involved, how many are involved, on what campus etc. etc. etc. Quickly it became apparent that the current reality is really quite simple, there's no campus movement. But (!!!!) it doesn't end there, because more than anything I was encouraged by what we did find, a framework for the future campus movement. 3 young men, students on the 2 public universities that have a heart for reaching their campus and are committed to being a support if we're able to send a team of canadians there this summer. A dedicated group of volunteers that desire to see a movement started. A super friendly dean at the tecnologica university and seemingly open doors at Unachi, the other public and priority university. Both of the public university campuses are great and the atmosphere there is so similar to what it is in Panama city at the national campus.

It really took me aback and excited me when I realized something. What the campuses look like in David now is what the Universidad de Panama looked like 2 or 3 years ago. And yet look what God's doing, I get the blessing of seeing that day after day as I step onto campus and work with the students. And so the groundwork is getting set, the framework laid out and the campuses waiting for the Canadian team, but more than that, waiting for God to move and a movement to begin.

Wow... Christmas is coming and as we set up a Christmas tree and cut out snowflakes for our apartment there's a Christmas word that keeps coming up and up... Emmanuel. And so I want to introduce you all to my "guest editor," my roomate Jess who's going to write this with me...

"K so Jess tell me about the fish..."

"So imagine that you own a fish tank. You buy the pretty black and white rocks for your crazy expensive filter, you buy the nice light, you fill the tank with colorful rocks and different kinds of plants. You even feed them..."

"Feed who Jess...??"

"But when you go to feed them what happens??"

"Yay but who are we feeding?"

"The fish. Okay so, the fish, we're feeding them. And what usually happens Lindsey?"

"The fish hide, especially when I go to the boys and feed their fish. They just swim away from me."

"Okay, so how would you convey to these fish that you love them... when they just swim away from you?"

"I don't know, because I can't explain to the fish that I love them. They're fish??"

"I know they're fish, but what if you became a fish?? What if you swam among them? What if you weren't just a big looming figure over the tank? But you were a fish?? Someone they could relate too, someone who could speak their language."

Sooo... moral of the story if this. We're little fish in a big huge ocean that is this world. We have no idea how big God is and there's no way that we can get any comprehension of how big he is... but on the flip side how much he loves us. That is... until we look at Jesus. Man.. Jess and I are just blown away by this. I mean think about it... God, almighty, all powerful, omnipotent God became a fish. A little tiny helpless baby boy... and why??? Yes to save us from our sins... but also to show us how much he loved us and for us to be able to relate to him!!! There was no way he could do that as a huge lurking shadow, he had to become like us, like a little fish so that we could see the truth. So that we could learn straight from God, everything God said as a man is in the bible, its the only time that he was able to communicate with us, man to man, fish to fish. Jess saw a little baby in church on Sunday as we sang, "Emmanuel, Emmanuel, God is with us." There was no better and no other way for God to show us himself, than to simply come and be with us.

And so as Christmas comes remember this... we're little fish, but we have a loving Heavenly Father that knows exactly what its like to be us.

This last week our bosses from Canada, Brent and Celeste were in town and ran the team through workshops on team dysfunctions to simply bringing us Christmas presents and taking us away to a beautiful island on the Carribean. Yesterday morning during our last training time Brent passed out diagrams to each of us to illustrate spiritual multiplication and really drive the point home of our vision and our goals for the ministry here. Seeing this little diagram, and as I filled it out with the names of students I'm working with I was so so excited to realize we're taking steps to realizing our dream of seeing students sharing, training and multiplying their lives into others. It takes time but it's coming.

Even as I write this I have a huge smile on my face. After training with my team I booked it to school for my discipleship time with two girls in science, Erika and Katy. Erika and I had 45 minutes before Katy arrived and so I pulled out my little diagram and ran her through where I see her fitting in and taking steps of faith. As Katy came and I re-explained the entire thing in Spanish I asked her what she thought. With a blank face she said, "Si ella cree que lo puedo hacer porque no?" As I translated this into English mentally I looked at Erika and asked, "did she just say what I think she just said?" Katy was exhausted and yet through this said, "If she (me) believes that I am able to do this, why not?" Both of the girls laughed at me as I let out a little shriek of joy. These two girls are committed to this ministry and to reaching and changing their campus. They're just as scared as I was 4 years ago when I got involved in campus ministry and yet so excited and willing to get trained and be ready to rock in March with their own discipleship groups.

Next week is the last week of classes and so as a ministry we're gearing up for a bit of a different time until March. But there's training to be done, a tonne of prayer and strategic planning, vision trips and retreats all in store. I believe with all my heart that the campuses here are going to be changed through the lives of students here like Katy and Erika. I've already seen the beginning of this in their lives and in two of my other disciples Jely and Yavi, let alone all the other students the rest of the team is working with. All four of "my" girls are baby Christians but know and believe that God can do anything when we're sold out and committed to him. They're catching the vision and trusting God with the results.

For the longest time I was "stuck" in Psalm 62 and finally I kept going in the psalms... only to hit Psalm 63. The words of David are beautiful in the passage. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, complete with the rough pathways, from team communication to simply being homesick when I realize how far away I am. There's also some issues that have come up with my health. Not huge worrisome ones, I'll be totally okay, but enough of one that I'm back in forth from the hospital for blood tests and all that fun stuff. I think more than anything, all of this reminds me of the huge necessity for prayer. The other night when I was upset I felt like God was simply asking me, "Lindsey in who do you put your faith?" It was a good reminder that my solid foundation is only found in Christ and its not changed or dictated by the circumstances around me.

Psalm 63, A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
9 They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

As I stood at the doors of the auditorium this morning, waiting for students to come for the lecture/outreach we were having I was reminded of something. When I was in Ukraine 3 years ago on a missions trip we showed the movie, "The Passion of the Christ," as an outreach for the community. Not very many people showed up and I remember thinking and really just needing to believe by faith that God in his sovereignty had exactly the people there that he wanted to be there. Sunday morning came and we were sitting in the church service as my pastor preached and was interpreted into Russian. Towards the end of his sermon I remember him saying that there are times that we just need to come to God. He was gearing up for the invitation to come to the altar when something else happened. A man named Alex, someone we had met that week, walked up to the front where Pastor Will was standing and just kneeled in front of him. It wasn't the proper time to come to the altar but it was his time, his moment of truth with the Lord. So I remember sitting there, to the right of Pastor Will and Alex, with the sun streaming in the window and the tears streaming down my cheeks. That moment made the entire trip worthwhile. If 6 of us had had to travel across the world so that Alex could come into contact and a personal relationship with his loving heavenly Father than it was worth it for me. Today 15 students indicated decisions to recieve Christ on the comment cards that were handed in. 15! So yes not as many students were there, and no the auditorium wasn't packed but that's not what really matters at all. I have 15 new brothers and sisters in Christ and those there were those that needed to be.

What is the price, the cost, that we place on a life??? If the 6 of us STINT-ers had come here for a year and only saw one person come into a relationship with Christ, would that be enough?

"Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one. Wouldn't you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, 'Celebrate with me! I've found my lost sheep!' Count on it—there's more joy in heaven over one sinner's rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue." Luke 15:4-7 (The Message)

Am I really willing to leave behind my 99 safe sheep and go out looking for the 1 that is lost?

Monday morning I stared at a stack of 150 posters and 600 invitations for the outreach on Wednesday, simply wondering how on earth we would pass out 600 invites. But by noon, all 600 invitations are gone, whether given out or with other students involved in the movement. A group of students had shown up at TUAL (our unofficial office) and headed out to invite students and go postering around campus. So by one o'clock I'm back at the copy center with another 50 posters and another 600 invites ready to go. That stack is almost gone.

"They," whoever they is say that to get 200 people to an event you need to pass out 600 invites, so on those numbers we should have a packed out auditorium tomorrow. But either way I learned to say, "lets do this in faith," en espanol, "en fe." I can't do anything on my own and when I start to place limits on things its then God takes those limits and gently exceeds them.


"For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt 6:32-34

I've been thinking about those verses this week. What do people seek after? What do people run after and look for? Things like relationships, money, security and the list goes on and on. The thing that struck me though is that God already knows we need them. There's no denial on his part that those things don't hold some value. BUT He doesn't tell us to seek after them, he tells us to seek him first, his kingdom and his righteousness, and everything we need comes after that.

There's a sweet sweet passage in Matthew chp.11 that's really touched my heart this week and so I leave you with this and with all my love. In the midst of life, in whatever pain, trial or even normality remember this, I know I'm definately taking this one to heart this week.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30

The Canadians (minus Sarah)... I love you guys!
The beautiful view from the top.

My team for the weekend, these guys are awesome!

Well the team of 26, Panamanians and Canadians survived Bajo Grande this past weekend. As I returned home Monday morning and as I've been spending time through my solo time with God a lot of little details of the trip are starting to make more sense.

Tuesday morning I was able to talk to my mom and she told me that my grandpa had prayed to recieve Christ last Thursday as he was headed in for hip surgery. I let out a little yell and laughed as tears welled up in my eyes, because that's a miracle! I was thinking back to this weekend when my team was blessed to see 8 people accept Christ on Sunday, and yet the excitement I felt then was nowhere near what I felt when I heard about my grandpa. Now don't get me wrong I was definately excited this weekend, but my grandpa hit a little closer to home. So that got me thinking... why shouldn't I be just as excited when someone I've only known 2 days becomes a new Christian as I am when someone who's known me all my life accepts Christ???

Then I realized; my 8 new brothers and sisters in Christ in Bajo Grande have people surrounding them. Maybe not Christians but people that will see their lives changed and be affected by that every day. People that will see when they fall but see that they now have someone bigger to pick them up. I think of Pastor Correa and his wife, in their 60's and moving further and further into the interior of Panama planting churches. They have amazing vision and I remember joy in his eyes when we told him about Mari accepting Christ. When I thought about all that the excitement and joy grew like crazy in my heart. Sometimes I look inwards instead of outwards, and when that happens, God gives me a simple check and reminds me it's not about me at all.

I would be lying if I said that life the last week or so has been a piece of cake. Relationships are hard and they take more work than I sometimes am willing or even want to give them. I think, actually I know that I was way too optimistic coming into STINT this year. I'm not a very confrontational person at all so confrontation and therefore "rocking the boat" is not something I really like to do. The reality of the whole thing is though I am called to love and I really do love my team... and here's why;

Jon- is an amazing leader and its been a blessing to have someone to talk to and someone that can call me on the things that I need to work on in my own life and to give me encouragement in that too. He has such an amazing heart to support our team and get to know each one of them. He has such a love for the students we work with and a way to add details and some reality to my crazy ideas.

Jessica- is such a tenderhearted and beautiful woman of God. Her excitement and genuine joy at the smallest details sometimes is such a reminder for me about the love that God has for me and our team and that details are constantly being worked out for us by a big, loving and powerful heavenly Father.

Sarah- is a hidden talent of a powerhouse. I don't really know what else to add to that. She's got these crazy hidden skills that keep coming out of nowhere but are totally needed and relevant like those of getting a movement started on a campus where there's nothing.

Steve- is a loving man of God. Yesterday he ran up to a random guy to talk too because, "he was sitting in the same place yesterday and I wanted to talk to him then." You can simply see his love for the students and for God through his actions everyday.

Trica- is a joy. She's the other half of the crazy teetor-totter that is the two of us. There's no real other way to explain that one, she's got an awesome heart for the new campus we're opening up and I'm so happy that God's called her to be there.

So in the midst of pain and homesickness and a general need for what I think is normality... I know that I need to remember that I am surrounded by an amazing team.

These guys are an answer to prayers... Jon and I have been able to connect with a lot of girls in the science faculties and I've got a good group of girls that I'm beginning to work with. That had been awesome but we had been praying that God would raise up the guys in our science faculties... and here they are, a solid beginning...

And because I know that my dad is checking this tonight... here's the link for some of my pics from Nicaragua... (copy the whole address into the browser...)

http://ucalgary.facebook.com/album.php?aid=61080&l=04938&id=523285093

Crossfire youth retreat...

http://ucalgary.facebook.com/album.php?aid=61676&l=5e14c&id=523285093

Love lots and lots!

I just returned from our church youth retreat... absolutely amazing! My small group of girls blew my mind this weekend and more than that God healed my heart. There's so much more that could be said but at this point I'm still working through what happened last night... it definately goes down as one of the most intense moments of ministry that I've ever had and one of the most precious moments with God. So until then I leave you with some lyrics from this weekend and a verse that came alive this morning;


You're my every moment
You calm my raging sees
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in you, I trust in you

I believe you're my healer
I believe you are all I need
I believe you're my portion
I believe you're more than enough for me
Jesus you're all I need, Oh my healer, you're my healer

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold the world in your hands

Psalm 62:5-8, 11-12
5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God [a] ;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah
~
11 One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,
12 and that you, O Lord, are loving.

Well well well... Nicaragua was a trip and a half and I think my brain is still blown... partly from all the Spanish and partly from all the sheer information. It was amazing to be sitting in a room with the campus directors and other staff and national directors of Vida Estudiantil in the CMC region (Central America, Mexico and the Carribean). I learned so much about what it means to have a movement and just gained so much understanding of this region and its past and future! Because I'm leaving again tomorrow on a youth retreat with my church the update will be soon to come, more than that I'm still trying to process everything that just happened.

Life is absolutely nuts and most days I just have fun trying to keep up with it. The last 10 days has been insane.. but what's new for Panama?? The long and short of it is that God is doing crazy crazy things on all fronts.

Steve and I have started to lead small groups at "Crossfire" which is the youth ministry at the church that Sarah, Steve and I are attending. Its been such a blessing to get to be a part of an amazing group of leaders and also get connected into our own small groups of students. My group is a group of 5 grade 10 girls. My first night with them was last night and it's definately going to be interesting. Their small group just seperated into two so they'll definately be a breaking in period with them but we're headed on a retreat in 8 days so I am super excited to have some solid time with then and serve them as their friend. Please pray for them.

On the campus front... I don't really know what to say to put into words the feelings and emotions there. This week has been a week of follow-up and meeting with contacts Jon and I gathered from our classroom talks the last couple of weeks. Yesterday I was supposed to meet with 6 girls at noon but only one of them showed up. But as my friend Laura and I shared the gospel with her you could totally see her processing and thinking her own way through the whole thing. At the end when I asked her if she wanted to pray to recieve Christ she said that she wouldn't be here meeting with us if she wasn't looking for God. It was amazing... thats how the whole week has been! Today Jon and I were so encouraged because 4 guys (!!!) from science showed up at the weekly meeting. I've been connecting really well with the girls from the faculty but there's been a lesser number of guys in the classes and therefore for Jon to connect with. For me it was another sign and encouragement that God has huge huge plans for our faculties. I know that everyone on the team has their own special stories and special moments that God is teaching them and showing them things. Time and time again I am humbled by Gods plans and how even though He could do things without me... He chooses to use me anyways! Until next time.. much love!

Just a couple more... because I realized that they're good.. and I have some computer time.... yippee! (Thanks Jess!!!)So this is the crazy fountain that we found Friday night at Nikko's, now the weird thing is it was full of bubbles... in espanol... burbuja... funnest spanish word ever (pronouce the "j" like an "h"). Alrighty so this is a close up of the articles on the protest Friday at the university... enough said.
This is another shot from church.. I don't know why I have a goofy face on but oh well... it was a great Sunday morning. So this is bascially to bring a smile to your face... love you guys!

Well its definately been a week. We had an awesome full week on campus and were able to present some "talks" including the gospel to 4 lab classes of mostly first years. Today Jon and I did another classroom talk. As we were getting started I really wasn't feeling comfortable with what I had said in the other lectures. So I prayed rapidly and wung (winged??) the whole thing. It went awesome and I'm constantly amazed what God does when we ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit and trust in his leading. Jon and I both thought afterwards that it was the best talk we had done so far. We've been able to connect with a lot of students in the faculty... most of them girls which has me really excited! Even today as I chatted with 3 girls at the end of the talk I was encouraged by my Spanish and their excitement to meet up and get a discipleship group started. Yesterday Jessica, Tricia, Jon and I went to the church in San Miguelito where Jon and I spent a week last summer on our adventure cycle. It was great to be there again and see the people from church and talk with them again. Jon preached the message and it was cool to realize how far we've all come in the last year. I never would have imagined being back and yet I completely felt at home being back with them. It was definately another one of those "crazy... I'm actually in Panama" moments.

Some pics for you guys from this weekend... courtesy of Tricia as my camera is still MIA. :) Late night drive turned into a late night at the Panama Canal... beautiful. Alright... so I don't know how much of this I should mention but... on Friday the university was shut down because of a protest. Jon and I were eating lunch when we saw students walking down the street carrying posters, flags and tires. Needless to say the tires were for blowing up and we all had to exit campus a different way as the police came in full on riot gear... needless to say this is apparently normal. This is Jess and I with the newspaper articles... for another take on this.. check out Jon's blog (the link is on the sidebar of this page), some smart insight there!!

The guys made us dinnner for team fun night and then we headed to the national theater (Teatro Nacional) for a concert that my church brought to town, it was a great night!
This is Jon and I at the church on Sunday in San Miguelito... I was helping Jon out and giving an example... (p.s. I love that they have 2 Tim 2:2 painted on their wall) This is the view from the top of one of the hills in San Miguelito.. beautiful.

So I was really tempted not to post this due to the shape of my face but it makes me (and the rest of my team) laugh so... this is what happens when we try and one-up each other on who can make the best pescado (fish) face.
Love you all... more to come! Stay tuned... it looks like Jon and I may be headed to Nicaragua in 2 weeks and a little bit for a conference.... fiesta!!! Jokes... please pray.. science outreach on Wednesday!!! Update to come!

Its been an absolutely nutty weekend. For those of you who know whats happening you'll know its been a huge rollar coaster of emotion to some huge depths, and yet God always takes us out of the valleys, although they defiantely hurt when we're there. September 20th I wrote in my journal, "How quickly things can change, how quickly joy can turn to sorrow or laughter into pain." And yet tonight it'll be a completley different story.

(Rundown for everybody that has no idea.... Sept 20 some of my teammates took my guitar and my backpack containing my laptop, camera, wallet etc. home in a cab... except for it didn't make it home as everything was forgotten in the trunk of the cab... and trying to find one cab driver in Panama City can only be done by God.)

Now everything hasn't made it back and I'm still praying it does... and yet God continually blows me away. But until then... lets take a walk through some scripture that pulled me through this weekend, grab some coffee or tea and take a minute to do this with me. I know that scripture speaks to us all at different times but I pray that even as you read and think about these that God will continue to reveal his character to you... just as He's been doing to me.

Psalm 37:3-7a

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."

Psalm 38:9

"All my longings lie open before you, O Lord: my sighing is not hidden from you."

*Psalm 42:11 (5-11 too)

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God."

*Psalm 51:12

"Restore to me they joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

*Isaiah 26:3

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you."

*James 1:2-3

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence...."

*1 Peter 1: 6-7

"In this you greatly rejoice, through now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

*John 14:14

"You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it."

& again...

*John 15:7

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you."

& again...

*John 15:16

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other."

*Romans 8:38-39

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus."

*Psalm 139:7-10

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens you are there: if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea (Panama???), even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

*Psalm 36, Psalm 40, Psalm 95, Psalm 100

(any of those guys....)

Thanks for taking a trip with me, I love you guys all so much!!! As always... more to come.

Well... we're not getting deported tomorrow!! Yeah! This morning our request for an extension was granted and we've been excepted for a 30 day extension to our tourist visas. We have Panamanian identification cards and everything. At the end of the 30 day extension (October 18th) we'll be passing in our applications for our missionary visas and we should be set up for the rest of the year! Thanks so much for all your prayers!

So an update on the crazy missionary/ tourist visa situation.... as uncomplicated as I can attempt to make this. We registered at the immigration office this morning and then applied for a 30 day extension to our current tourist visas. The only thing is that we won't find out until Tuesday morning whether the extension has been approved. Until then we wait and pray. Worse case scenario is we do a mad jaunt to Costa Rica on Wednesday and re-enter the country. Basically the idea is that a month from now we'll pass in the application for our missionary visas and then be completely finished with this bureaucratic mess. Please continue to pray that we'll have favor with the immigration office and that our extension will be approved. The officer we dealt with this morning had John 3:16 posted on his carrel which was a cool encouragement after the 5:30 am wake up call. Also... one of the girls on the team is still sorting out with Canada how to get a criminal record check done from overseas and its not looking good, so continue to keep that in your prayers.... lots of love!!!!

Just some random pics for you guys..... enjoy...

The weekly meeting we were at today. The place was hopping with students a half hour before we even got rolling.. it was awesome.

Jessica, Steve, Sarah and I at the 30th anniversary of the signing of the canal treaties and the land breaking for the canal expansion.

The long awaited view from the apartment... I love waking up to this every morning.

Bathroom graffiti in Panama... 10 points to whoever translates this first (Jon you don't count).

The view from the mountaintop.... where we were at a retreat with the staff and students the past weekend.

I hate being sick. I absolutely hate it. I feel irritable and frustrated when I have no right to be and I don’t have the energy to do the things I normally can do. I question things when I shouldn’t and all in all don’t function well both physically but also emotionally. When I’m at home I talk to my mom or grab a cup of tea and cuddle into my favorite sweater and sweats and sit with my dog or on my couch with my favorite music. I can have a bath or do whatever I need to do to take care of myself. So it’s hard when I’m not able to do those things anymore. I absolutely love it here and yet there’s times, like this evening that it’s hard to be somewhere that’s not quite home yet. I’m too hot to cuddle in a sweater and it’s too sweaty to drink tea and my family (my dog included) is over a thousand miles away. But it’s also times like this that I have nowhere to turn to but to my heavenly Father. He’s the only steady and constant thing in my life when all else is changing and moving and scary or frustrating at times.

Psalm 73:23-26

“Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

In John 7:60-71 Jesus is deserted by “many” of his disciples as his teaching is hard (vs.60). It’s not exactly the most encouraging bible story and yet it has one of my favorite verses in it. In verse 67 Jesus asks the Twelve whether they also want to leave him and Simon Peter answers, “Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” (vs.68-69) I love that. “Lord to whom shall we go?” Where else would I turn when I feel alone or ready to throw in the towel? To whom shall I go? “Whom (else) have I in heaven?”

This is a video of the Panama City skyline from a "hike" that the team took yesterday through the natural metropolitan park (pardon the quality... I'm still working on it!). It was a gorgeous day for some gorgeous scenery... I've been praying a lot lately about what God is speaking to me. In John chapter 4:43-54 Jesus heals a royal officials son. What hit me about this was two things... 1. the man took Jesus at his word that his son was healed and departed... man I want to have faith like that and 2. Jesus said something and it was so. So I've been thinking... what is God saying to me??

Learning a lesson....

In the last post I mentioned that we had found an apartment for the girls and that we would still be looking for one for the boys. Backtracking a little though... when we had first started looking for apartments we had looked at a gorgeous building in a safe area called El Dorado, but... it was too expensive for us and only had 2 rooms. On Saturday we were supposed to move into what was supposedly the "girls" apartment. Our realtor called that morning though and said that another apartment had opened up in the identical building we had first looked at BUT that the rent was cheaper (moved into our price range), had 3 rooms AND was completely furnished. Holding our breaths we went to take a look. I was speechless... and we all know that that doesn't happen a lot...

I learned an important lesson that day. As I stepped out onto the balcony to look around I saw jungle and rainforest in the distance on my left and on my right the skyline of downtown Panama city but through the gaps in the buildings was a site that blew me away... the ocean. Standing near the ocean or even gazing at it from a distance I feel so incredibly close to God. But what I learned is that God desires to bless us more than we deserve... or even think we deserve. I wouldn't have asked to see the ocean every morning and yet He gave me that and as always more than I ever thought to ask for. Sometimes I think that God simply desires to blow us away, wherever we are, even when we think we could be satisfied with less.

The first (of many) girls nights in Panama city....

Post Saturday morning prayer... the morning we moved!

First dinner at "home"... well the boys house that is!

For more pics... check out this link....

http://ucalgary.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45277&l=f9b54&id
=523285093

Yeah!!! An apartment!!! We picked up keys for our new home yesterday and its exciting to know that we have a place to move into tomorrow. Its a 3 bedroom, 3 bath apartment halfway furnished with a washer, dryer and appliances which is a rare find down here. We´ll be taking the bus to campus, its about a 15 or 20 minute ride but it´s only one bus so we should be able to figure it out... thanks so much for all your prayers!

This morning we woke up a little after 5 and headed to the campus for a prayer walk around the campus. It was awesome to lift up the students and faculties in prayer and also pray that God would raise the level of evangelism on our campus. My hope and prayer is that the staff and our stint team really leads that way in this. I´ll be working in the science faculty along with my co'leader Jon. The Panamanian staff member we´re working with doesn´t really speak English so my Spanish needs to get better and fast! It´s awesome though because I´ll be forced to speak it so I´ll be able to learn... but please keep that in your prayers as well.

I´ve been delving into 1 Peter chapter 1 this week. I would encourage you all to take a peek at that, its such a beautiful progression within that chapter and concludes with a prayer I have for our team. I´ve been praying that we would love each other deeply and 1 Peter 1, I think vs.22 talks about this. Love each other sincerely because we´ve been purchased with something imperishable... the blood of Christ. Its an awesome chapter and one of my favorite books... there´s simply so much there. As always you´ll be in my thoughts and prayers, thanks so much for keeping me in yours!

Well well! Here's some pics for you guys now that I found a less sketchy internet connection... still in the process of apartment hunting but it's looking good at this point! More soon!

Jessica, Tricia and Sarah on the plane ride... I can't figure out how to flip this... sorry!

Our airplane row... Jon, Me and Steve!
Our Panamanian welcoming committee! Gotta run... more to come!

Well we made it! As we were landing at the airport I remember looking out the window of the plane and thinking that’s home! We had a crazy trip down, from not knowing about the embargo on 3^rd pieces of luggage and oversize bags to being delayed 5 ½ hours in Newark, from losing luggage and a minor car accident with some of the Panamanians, it was an eventful day of traveling and as we landed at 2:30 in the morning we were just happy to be back. The Panamanian air feels wonderful. I just absolutely love this country. It’s weird and yet comforting how familiar everything seems as we walk around and pick up some essentials. The last couple of days has been intense as we’ve set up cell phones (I’m feeling less and less like a tourist) and gone searching for apartments. The real estate market in Panama City is going nuts and rent is sky rocketing which means it’s extremely difficult to find apartments. But we’re looking and learning more and more about each other and about God as we do that. Rod Alm always says that he’s happy when someone says no when they ask to talk about spiritual things because it means that there’s someone else God has for them to talk too. Jessica related this to apartment hunting. As we find more and more full buildings and high priced rent it simply means God has something better out there for and us that we just need to trust him and keep searching it out in faith. We’re in staff meetings tomorrow and the apartment hunting continues until a big dinner tomorrow night in celebration of the anniversary of Campus Crusade in Panama. It’s a great time to be here and I’m blown away by the partnership we get to be a part of. As we stepped off the plane so early in the morning we were greeted with cheers, posters and a welcome song. It’s so humbling to be an answer to someone’s prayers. This nation is ready to be impacted and I believe that an eternal difference is being and will be made. I’m so excited to get onto campus in the next couple of weeks and get rolling on ministry, whether its language learning or devotional time with the girls as I lead the team along with Jon. Pics to come as soon as I can get a better internet connection... much more to come!

In Guelph and all together finally!!!! Here's some pics and a quick update for you guys... Panama on Friday... so excited!

Leaving at the airport in Vancouver.... 5 am... here we go!
The team all together... finally! It feels right and we've decided that from now on we travel in 6's.... Gods totally hand picked this team and its so exciting to be a part of it!

We all made it here safe and sound, luggage and guitar included! The last couple of days of training have been great, the only real word I have for it is solid. We've spent a lot of time talking about communication, conflict resolution and all that fun and not so fun stuff. Language training and financial training followed so its been a little bit of everything which had been a little hardcore but awesome overall. The team is awesome. We sat through a Birkman analysis of out team dynamics and discovered we're a high fun team... which I think I figured already! It was good though to see who needs down time away from people (not me!) and who's high challenge, high esteem etc. etc. but it was awesome, I think it'll be super helpful later on.

Tomorrow we'll be dealing with details specific to Panama, such as roles, cultural stuff and things like getting our apartments set up (yeah!! apparently it's a pretty sweet setup in a neighborhood called El Dorado). Jon Agudelo and I will be leading the team which is both exciting and scary at the same time. I'm remembering a lot of lessons over the last couple of days that I've forgotten... like knowing and believing God is good and that he has called me to do this, there's so much more than that but I'll save it for later.... as always you guys are great, our team's awesome and God's great... so I think we're pretty much good to go!!! :) More to come!

So this will be super speedy but.... I leave tomorrow morning (way too early!!) from Vancouver to Toronto to meet up with the rest of my team. From there we leave on Friday morning for Panama City and then the rest will sort itself out!! Thanks so much for all your love and support as I've been crazily getting ready to go. I've been incredibly humbled by all the support and words of encouragement that you've all been so lovingly and willingly passing onto me in the last few months. I'll miss all of you but I know that this is exactly what God's called me to do and I'm excited to see what that'll look like over the next year. I love you all but this isn't goodbye because you'll all be hearing from me soon! I'll let you guys all know my new mailing addy and phone number in Panama with the August update that'll make its way out once we get down there.... if you need anything I'm always here... drop me a line.... lindsey.davies@c4c.ca Until then, much love and I pray you'll all be blessed even more than you've blessed me!

Love and prayers... Lins.

I'm leaving Calgary August 8th en route to Panama via Vancouver and then onto Toronto for some team training. Its craziness... honestly! I'm excited for so many things and yet at the same time nervous about a lot too. Its a hard place to be in sometimes when you don't have control over circumstances but it's in those times that we have a decision to make on who we're going to trust to control the uncontrollable. I think that some days more than others its a hard decision to make to trust God but at the same time He's never let me down when I do put my trust in Him. So as the days pass by ever so quick and I'm packing and sorting, and most likely crying I choose to rest in the fact that He loves me and cares for me more than anything.

Psalm 36:5-9 (The Message)

God's love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic,
His purpose titanic, his verdicts oceanic.
Yet in his largeness nothing gets lost;
Not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks.

How exquisite your love, O God!
How eager we are to run under your wings,
To eat our fill at the banquet you spread
as you fill our tankards with Eden spring water.
You're a fountain of cascading light, and you open our eyes to light.

So... I bought a guidebook for Panama a couple weeks ago and was finally perusing my way through it today. Just an interesting fact that's actually pretty sobering when you think about it;

Although Catholics are the majority, only about 20% of them attend church regularly. The religious orders aren't particularly strong in Panama either: only about 25% of Catholic clergy are Panamanian. The rest are foreign missionaries.

77% of the Panamanian population profess to be Roman Catholic and yet only 20% attend church. That's a crazy stat when you start crunching the numbers....

For the longest time, well the last year anyways Panama has been so far in the future that it almost didn't seem real. For months it was a year away, 9 months away etc., etc. and now the wheels are spinning away and I'm actually getting set to leave. My plane ticket out of Calgary is bought for August 8th which means that in less than a month I'm potentially gone for the next year. There's still a lot of "ifs" and "buts" and so so many details to get sorted out and yet I know I'm exactly where I need to be right now. So whether we leave as a team straight from Toronto or I'm back until sometime in September I still know and trust completely that all this details, all the things that could potentially stress me out are nothing in the face of a larger and ever loving God.

Just a brief glimpse of home...
I was at home this weekend for Canada Day. I went for a walk and came to the place where I shattered my leg a couple of years ago. The last time I was there is gave me the chills but the sun was shining and I was so thankful to be home that it didn't matter this time. So I just wanted to post some pics from this weekend and wish you all a belated Canada Day... Enjoy your summer!
This was the fence that broke my leg... notice the post on the right still standing... stupid post... haha oh well. I broke the one running horizontal... one point for the good guys!

The sunset... there's no place like home, it's still home to me!

I couldn't help but think of Panama this morning as I stepped out onto my porch. It was overcast and in Calgary that generally means snow. But yet instead it was warm and surprisingly humid. It reminded me of Panama and the rest of the afternoon I couldn't stop thinking about being back. I am so so excited and looking forward to being back in Panama City. In many ways I still don't think that it's completely sunk in that I'm actually leaving and yet I'm ready to be on that plane. Well not quite... but soon enough!

The first of the good-byes...

So last night a friend of mine came over for dinner and some hang out time. He's headed to Europe for a couple of months which is awesome... the only down side is that I won't be in the country when he gets back here. It was weird to say good-bye and realize I won't see him for over a year. But that's okay and that's how it'll be with everyone as I prepare myself to leave.

I was thinking about it last night as I was doing my devotional time (in the book of Acts again... good times!) but wondering how Jesus prepared his disciples for him being away. Then I realized that Jesus was in a completely different situation. He left the disciples physically yes but not spiritually and that's cool. The disciples still had his presence but I bet it was rough in those first days when Jesus was dead and buried. They had known something was coming but it was not at all the "kingdom" that they thought Jesus would be leaving behind. Interesting, its definately a thought in process but it'll come in time... and I'll learn how to say good-bye in my own way too!

Yesterday was my convocation from university and it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and I didn’t trip on my heels going across stage so altogether the whole things was a major blessing. So that combined with the beautiful piece of paper that means I officially have my Bachelors of Science degree. Four years and it all comes down to that. Crazy when it all comes into perspective that’s for sure. I’m sure I’ll have more to say on that as the summer gets on but right now something else is up;

We have one of those tear-off calendars that has a thought or quote every day by an author called Max Lucado. The one below is from a couple of days ago but really hit me one morning in my pre-fully awake phase:

“We have all wandered away like sheep: each of us has gone his own way”
Isaiah 53:6

How could a loving God send people to hell?... God does not “send” people to hell. Nor does he send “people” to hell… The word “people” is neutral, implying innocence. Nowhere does Scripture teach that innocent people are condemned. People do not go to hell. Sinners do. The rebellious do. The self-centered do. So how could a loving God send people to hell? He doesn’t. He simply honors the choice of sinners.

Max Lucado

Interesting hey??? I’ve never really heard it put that way but I think that it challenges an old idea that God sends people to hell. Yes we have a just God who judges us but does he choose to send us to heaven or hell? I don’t think so. I’m still mulling this over because its a new thought for me, but it made me think for sure.

I was at a youth conference a couple of weeks ago with my church youth group and a band called Delirious? played a killer concert. This song really blew me away and I've been listening to it over the last couple of days. It's just such a beautiful song of surrender and I wanted to share the lyrics with you guys.

Take Off My Shoes

I’ll take off my shoes, I’m coming in,
Untie this rope, I’m staying with him,
Love of my life, I’ll live and die,
Just for the moments for my king and I.

Why did you call, why did you wait,
For someone so guilty, someone so fake.
There are no words for my beautiful song,
Now I’m in the arms of my beautiful one.

Hold me, blow all the pride from my bones, with your fire.
Hold me, breathe on this heart made of stone, keep it pure.
Hold me, saviour of heaven and earth, King forever.
Hold me, love of my life lead me on,
Through the fire, lead me on...

I’ll take off this crown and fall at your feet,
The secret of joy are the moments we meet.
How could a man with all of your fame,
Pull me from darkness and call me by name.

So hold me today, as I carry your cross,
Into the desert to find who is lost.
Look at my hands, they’re still full of faith,
God keep them clean till we finish the race.

Written by Delirious? ©2005 Curious? Music UK

So for those of you who have been following along with me as I get ready to go back to Panama this is just a thought I was thinking about last night. I tend to journal a lot, especially as part of my devotional time and when I was in Panama this became an area to tease me (all in good fun of course!). My friend Jordi especially always wanted a journal reading of what was happening and what I had written down. So here's a snapshot of what I was thinking about last night, just something I had quickly written and wanted to share with you guys;

Romans 4:20-21 "Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised."

I love that verse, fully persuaded of Gods power and Gods character. Realizing and acknowledging God for who he is, so loving and so far beyond any idea of human capability. Abraham's body and Sarah's too was beyond the human capability to bear children and yet Abraham was fully, completely and wholeheartedly convinced of Gods capability to reach beyond that. He was strengthened throughout this process. Sometimes I want things to be easy, my relationships, my job, my future plans, and yet God doesn't work within these expectations. Beyond human capability, without God I can't do anything, especially that which he calls me too. And yet through him I'm made strong and capable but not at all own my own. Gods the capable one.

I love and I mean absolutely love the timing that God has. Now thats not everyday because sometimes I get frustrated but when it comes down to it his timing is always the best. Now here's the story;

In my third year of university I went sharing on campus (out talking with students about spirituality) and Jill and I met this awesome girl. I ended up meeting up with her the next week and we talked about faith and Christianity for like three hours until both of us were late for class. The following year (my fourth) I would run into her a lot and we'd chat and grab coffee and somehow the conversations always would come back to Christianity and her thoughts on the whole thing. It was like she was always so close to meeting God but there was something holding her back, she needed God to show himself to her. She left for Australia right after Christmas and was gone but still totally on my heart. Tonight I signed into msn for a completely different reason and she found me online. She's back in Calgary and the typed line that meant so much to me was this, "I found God in Australia Lindsey." This blew me away. The seeds that God had planted so long ago and had been being watered through prayers over continents finally sprouted. But as we plan on reconnecting this week for lunch and catching up I'm just dumbfounded by how gently and patiently God works on our hearts no matter where we are in our walk with him.

So my friends, be encouraged. We never know where and when God is at work but he is and he desires to blow us away with his timing. Seeds take time to grow, some quicker and some slower than others. But they grow.

Alrighty, so tomorrow morning our MET (Ministry Essentials Training) Team will be getting comissioned at headquarters in Langley. That's really exciting but in a way it feels like it's happening too fast. My roomate relates the whole thing to being on a reality show. We get faced with challenges and deadlines and she keeps thinking that someone is going to get voted off the island. But she states that's good because she doesn't really want to lose anyone... me either. But honestly it has been a crazy 8 days and the whole thing culminates tomorrow morning. Cool.

Staff, servant leadership, BBQ, and realizing something new;

As of the Thursday coming, I will be a fully comissioned staff member of Campus Crusade for Christ. That is something that I never ever would have thought would have happened. With going to Panama I was given (with a whole lot of grace) permission to go as an intern even though I'm a full staff member. It's definately a little confusing. Actually it technically means I'm a clergy member which is kind of nuts but more later....

Tonight all of us here at MET (Ministry Essentials Training) had the invitation to go the president of Campus Crusdae for Christ Canada's house for dinner. As he BBQ'd burgers for us and sat with us and heard testimonies from our own lives I was blown away again by the type of organization that I am going to work for. It was such an example of servant leadership. The first night we were here, our president cast vision to us on a large scale. I totally agree with him 100% and am so so excited to be a part of something so much larger than me. But the next morning he talked to our group about the importance of keeping your relationship with God a priority in our lives. He said something to the extent of "guys, you can throw all the vision out the window if our walks with God is not where our priority is." It was such an encouragement to hear that coming from our leader and bascially my "big boss man," or as he states it the "big servant man." It's really hard to put this all into words but it's coming slowly.

Time and time God is completely humbling me. This is such an amazing group of people that I am blessed to be here with and they blow me away day after day. I'm realizing that although national campus ministry may not be where I see myself for the rest of my career, I am fully committed to the fulfillment of the Great Comission and I'm here until God calls me somewhere else. I think that might just make me a lifer but really who knows??

Today for me it was the realization that this is what I want to commit my life to. There is no greater thing than seeing people come alive in the love of Christ, its such a beautiful thing and there is nothing worth more than that. All the pain, stress and worries that I may face pales in the comparison of seeing someone come into a knowing relationship with Christ. Its simply worth everything.

With all my love,

Lins

My bad.... its been a while and this one will be short. But (!!!!) last day of classes which is awesome, it's been a crazy four years and its nuts in that my degree is finally over, well other than finals I guess. So... Happy Bermuda Shorts Day everyone, its a U of C thing!! On that note, I had surgery on Tuesday so I am no longer a bionic women, no more titanium in my leg and hopefully that will be the last surgery.... but it'll be weird not to set off metal detectors at the airport anymore..... :)

Why are we uncomfortable in the face of someone who needs something that we can give? A young man interrupted my religious studies class last week first wondering where the bathroom was and next asking for a bus ticket or change to get home (my class is downtown in a cultural center). No one knew what to do, my prof laughed out loud and laughter rippled through the room until people started reaching for wallets and change and one girl finally pulled out a bus ticket. What is it that gets people to that state? Deep down there is a discomfort when faced with the pain of suffering and being uncomfortable in the face of someone who doesn’t have what we sit there having. I’m sitting in this course, paying close to five hundred dollars to hear my prof lecture on perspectives of suffering in religion, we’re faced with someone in need and no one knows what to do.

I had a flashback to an afternoon in Panama where our team was on the adventure cycle and eating lunch in a grocery store cafeteria. An old man walked slowly up and down the aisles in the café, not asking for anything and not looking for anything, just slowly walking. But, he absolutely broke my heart. The clothing, the dirtiness, just the absolute emptiness in his eyes and his steps. He sat down in a little booth a couple of tables away, and again I had no idea what to do. I was too emotionally choked up to make a move and still conversation flowed all around me. I asked my friend Jon to go and buy him some lunch which he did and sat down and talked to him for a minute or two. I have no idea what was said even still but the moment continues to stick with me even now.

Last night I was reading in Luke when Jesus performs a miracle and raises the widow’s dead son from the dead. Verse 13 states that “when the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her…” This is one of my favorite passages. Jesus’ heart moved with compassion for the pain and suffering that this woman was going through. He loves us so much and I think it pains him when we suffer, whatever exactly that means. But his heart still moves in response to our pain and that gives me the strength and encouragement. I’m a tenderhearted person and if you spend a lot of time with me you’ll find that I am really prone to tears when something touches my heart. I get what this verse is saying, it totally hits home for me. Our hearts need to move when someone is in pain, and sometimes we need to take a step of faith and act with compassion towards those around us. Matthew 9:36 says when Jesus saw the crowds he had compassion on them. It’s when our hearts aren’t moved by those around us that I think we have a problem. I think my favorite bible character is King David and largely because he was a man after Gods heart. I want to be a woman after the heart of the Father and I pray that continually he remolds and reshapes my heart, so that I’m passionate what God is passionate about and that the things that break his heart would also break mine too. I know that this is kind of a heavy thought, it’s just been on my heart for a while, let me know what you think.